I died on June 28, 2008.

And I want everyone to know it wasn't that much fun.

I likely would not even have known about it had not God blessed me years ago with Jackie, my wonderful 40-years-plus registered wife and nurse and incredibly talented breath-by-breath Emergency Room announcer.

Jackie's poignant exclamation may be the most nerve-wrenching phrase I have ever heard: "Joe," she said, "You almost scared me to death!'' Her voice trembled as she said it, replacing any anger or frustration with the most tender love
imaginable, love with which I was well acquainted and that made me shudder and likely will again and again every time I replay it in my mind.

Think Loud, Parkinson Patients!

I knew of the potential swallowing danger to those with Parkinson's Disease. I'd been diagnosed a year and a half earlier, and I wasn't stupid. At least not every day.

I had been trained at Texas Voice and faithfully attended weekly voice exercises sponsored by the Dallas Area Parkinsonism Society.

But that was pretty much it. Though I knew it was important to build and maintain strong voice muscles, I really was more concerned about being able to walk.

Words worse than pneumonia

On the morning of June 28th, when the ambulance rushed me to Baylor Medical Center's emergency room, I could neither walk nor speak. nor respond at all, since my 90-pound-weakling vocal chords, which also control swallowing, had allowed strange, enemy materials, -- crumbs, most likely -- to enter my lungs, immediately creating aspiration pneumonia.

Not the fun kind.

Jackie knew how serious I was when she first heard the word: "ventilator."

I can't imagine having a machine breathe for me, though by this time I had no recollection, cognizance, nor imagination left at all.

Does the word "vegetable" come to mind?

In the afternoon, the ICU nurse came out to let Jackie know things were not looking good. A second ventilator might be required, and she wanted Jackie to know anyone who went onto a second ventilator had a chance of staying the rest of
their lives. She wanted Jackie to decide what to do by the next morning.

Thank You God, for Gary, Wanda, Sue and Buzzy!

Jackie hasn't talked much about that night after receiving the most pessimistic medical advice she could ever remember. But come the following day, God provided veteran, expert arms & shoulders for her.

Gary and Wanda Clinton had been friends for over 30 years, since Jackie was daughter Kati's preschool teacher in Sunday School. Kati now was a magazine editor in Switzerland, and Gary & Wanda were active in another church, but we were still friends, had been to their home the previous Sunday evening for dinner.

Then came Jackie's best medical advisors: Dr. Claude Denham and his wife Dr. Sue Broyles. Sue had been Jackie's supervisor for years at Children's Medical Center. As time passed, Jackie had realized Dr. Denham not only was a leading oncologist, but also a good friend. Sue called Dr. Denham "Buzzy," so Jackie called him "Buzzy.'

Jackie wanted to talk to Dr. Kenneth Auloos, the ICU doctor in charge on that day. Neither of us knew Dr. Auloos, but he was an associate of of Dr. Mark Millard, the pulmonary specialist who had kept my severe COPD under control since 1984.

Obviously very busy, Dr. Auloos did not emerge from the ICU until afternoon. He quickly told Jackie I was still struggling, that he already had re-vented me, he felt I might soon breathe on my own and she should not worry about a machine that was saving my life.

Dr. Denham heard every word, and told Jackie he felt Dr. Auloos knew his business, was acting properly, could be trusted, and that included his advice.

Life Goes On

As Dr. Auloos returned to the ICU, suddenly loud slurping sounds resonated from the E.R.  Respiratory Therapist Feliecia was over me working her suction tube with precision. Without proper suctioning, a patient can drown in his own fluids. Feliecia spent a long, hard day with the E.R. team keeping me alive, on just her third day without cigarettes. She wanted to stop smoking for her two 4-year-old boys.

Healthcare & Heroes

When I finally began to regain consciousness, I knew immediately God wanted me to live, as my heroes began to arrive. Former pastor Steve Shelton and his wife Rhonda were there early. I don't remember what they said, but hearing Steve pray let me know God was there and aware, and that felt good.

I don't remember anything my brother, A.C. Hickman, said, but I'm sure his words were upbeat, positive, and sincere. A.C. has always been there. Longer than anyone else.

Dr. Bill Cathey, my current pastor at Buckner Chapel, came quickly even though his wife Rhea was undergoing chemo for bone cancer and suffering nausea almost daily.

I had an uplifting note from Steve Stroop, senior pastor of our mother church, LakePointe, just days after his grandfather died. And visits from LakePointe's Minister to Senior adults, Lynn Cypert, were very special.

My heroes have always been men who come close and pray quietly.

Carrie

Our daughter Carrie, her husband Brian Sadler, and our 7-year-old granddaughter Casey let us know they could be home quickly any time we called. Brian is Youth Pastor at Woodfields church in Greenwood, South Carolina. Early on we got word of being "lifted up" in special prayers. "Daddy, we are praying with all our might for you." Casey is praying, too. "She wants you to get better so you can walk in the backyard with the birds."

Mass

Alicia Guzman is another of Jackie's friends at Children's, who also has become one of my good friends. Alicia must have focused God's attention on me with a special mass at her church. For a Baptist!  I will always thank God for Alicia.

What would we do without family?

Our family members always support us:
► Jackie's brother Tilford Ralton and his wife Iris phoned repeatedly even though Iris has to help her mother, ill in Australia. Tilford and cousin Shirley Ware also bore the burdon of closing the estate of Aunt Laurene, who passed in Los Angeles in late June.
► Eddie & Linda Touraine, and their daughter Danielle, have repeatedly visited me. Linda is Jackie's sister. Eddie continues to plan a trip with us in September, our first to visit Carrie, Casey, and Brian in South Carolina.
► Brian's parents, Jerrell & Gloria Sadler, possibly have visited me in the hospital more than anyone, though both have health issues and I'm sure they don't always feel good. I can never forget Gloria's age, since she and I were born on the same day, same year. And even though she is as likely to remember my birthday as his, every time he leaves, Jerrell still declares loudly, "Love ya, Man!"
►Jerry Hickman, my brother's oldest son, and his wife Joann have been very supportive, even though Joann's daughter is recovering from a terrible auto accident, and Jerry had back surgery scheduled for late July. The surgery went well but he'll need about 6 weeks to heal.
► Cousin Kay Allen sends me stuff almost daily, funny, good advice, inspirational, spiritual. Kay likely knows more about Parkinson's than anyone else around. After years of fighting Parkinson Lewy Bodies, she's felt the pain this year of having to place her husband in permanent care.

Okay, I admit I did not really die on June 28. Or possibly, all the prayers of relatives and friends brought me back to life.

Some of our strongest friends are:
► Donna Miller, a 40-year friend and hospice nurse. This is Donna. She's allergic to cats. So she adopts one, a 12 year veteran she named Rosary. "Trinity" might also have been a better name, since Rosary has only three legs.
► Sally Adams, a wonderfully fun friend and nurse practitioner who makes sure pound-and-a-half babies hang on to thrive.
► Riley and Joan Rodgers, church friends for almost 30 years. Riley can and will do anything to help a friend.
► Evelyn Fletcher, as fine a lady and school counselor as I have ever known. And a good friend.
►Sarah Atwood, the facilitator of the Parkinson exercise and voice support groups at Lakeside Baptist Church. An extremely busy lady who still found time to prepare and share dinner with Jackie on a Friday night.
► Joann Breeland, a positive, delightful lady whose spirit lifts us every time we visit. The faith of Joann and her husband Rex provide good examples for all of us. To keep their faith and inspiring attitudes as Joann continues to suffer from ALS
points all of us to God.
► Winnie Swinford, active supporter of our Parkinson's group, made Jackie a homemade 7-layer ice cream cake "to die for." I told Jackie to save me a piece; she made no such commitment.
► Yves and Larisa Gerem: Yves and I became friends when I worked at EPA. An excellent writer and very well-read, Yves loves to talk government and politics. Yves, Larisa and their son Etienne inquire about me, And we are planning a get-to-gether as soon as I can get it together.
►Christin Dooley is a psychologist who works with school children. She's one of my favorite people. She took Jackie for a birthday lunch this year when I couldn't.
► Linda Ramey lovingly deals with her mother's Alzheimer's yet also works in weekly hospital visits.
► Evola and Walter Griffin: With Walter in a wheelchair, and elderly parents, Evola still finds time to phone, almost weekly to check on me.
►Margaret Smith phones about me regularly, even from out of state when she's ministering to relatives who need her. And Margaret makes pecan pies.... Sorry, if I think about Margaret's pies, I start drooling...   It's a Parkinson thing.
►Luis Olivo is 94 years old. He had to stop driving this year, but he still makes it to church every Sunday. And still calls us sick folks. When I miss, I miss most that big Luis bear hug.

Obviously, with so many wonderful folks expressing concern, I did not die. Their prayers and good wishes gave me new life.

I still have a way to go. On my first day out of ICU, I started learning to walk again. I took six steps forward, turned, and took 6 steps back. It was my first 12-step program.

The next day, I took 100 steps. Then I did what any red-blooded, crusty old comedy writer would do.

I cried.

Feedback