Ughhh!
by Joe Hickman, HaLife.com

I fell again today. First time in eight months.

It was my own fault.

My wife, Jackie, had warned me as we walked through Denver's Cherry Creek Mall to be careful. Or maybe it was her sister, Linda. "Don't want you falling," one of them cautioned.

"I don't fall anymore,'' I quickly boasted.

Less than an hour later I was flat on my back on the sidewalk in front of "Show of Hands: Fine American Crafts."

I have no idea why or how I fell. One second I was walking along, suddenly I take a step to the right toward a parked car, and I am falling backwards.

Fortunately, I landed on my right elbow and left shoulder.

Hard!  "Ughhh!"

After helping me to my feet, treating my bloody elbow, and making sure I was alright, everybody went on in to shop.

I waited outside, afraid if I fell again inside I could wipe out several thousand dollars worth of glass birdbaths, ceramic Santas, and assorted one of a kind knick-knacks that make great Christmas gifts.

As I rubbed my sore shoulder, I began to wonder how many times I will have to fall before I make the decision to spend the rest of my life in a wheelchair, which my neurologists say is likely inevitable.

My diagnosis is Parkinson's Plus -- Parkinson's Disease plus Primary Freezing Gait Disorder. I wear a daily medicine patch to help alleviate the Parkinson's symptoms (it doesn't), but there are no meds or treatment for the gait thing. 

I have learned to be careful and had not fallen since February. I will not cross a busy street because I know I can freeze and stand in the middle forever. But I still walk a mile most days and cross neighborhood streets.

I cannot write legibly, yet I still take notes and sign a check now and then, and none has bounced yet. Though I can't usually read my notes.

I can o]longer tye worth a flipa d ifIdont rcoret this wy9u woudlnt e ake tiread ti, b'ut sitllltype eveyrday. i tjust takeslonger.

I can no longer type worth a flip and if I don't correct this you will not be able to read it. But I still type every day and make corrections. It just takes longer.

I have to make myself speak loud or no one can hear me, but I still chatter away and even sometimes speak before groups.

Today's fall was a bit different because I don't know how it happened. I did not fall in slow motion. I don't think I can learn anything from this fall to help prevent a future fall.

Hopefully, it will be another eight  months before it happens again.

Which is why, after strolling around -- very carefully--a few minutes, I went on inside the store, bought a book, and walked right up to a $500 glass birdbath and didn't even shake.

But I will never again boast about not falling.

So maybe I did learn something.