Fun Things to Do During A Boring Sermon |
• Pass a note
to the organist asking whether he or she plays requests.
• See if a yawn really is contagious.
• Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not,
raise your hand and tell the preacher.
• Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
• Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with 'A' then 'B
and so on through the alphabet.
• Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews
ahead of you. After the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made
it to the front.
• Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design,
test and modify a collection of paper airplanes.
• Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to
the front, under the pews, without being noticed.
• Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
• Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on
your nostrils and trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
• Chew gum; if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start
blowing bubbles.
• Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
• By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your
shirt around backwards.
• While people are locating the announced congregational song, step
out in the aisle and begin
waving your arms as if directing the hymn.
• Sit close to the front, and during the prayer, turn around
backwards, point, and count softly how many people do not have their heads bowed and eyes
closed.
• See how many hard candies you can stuff in your cheeks before your
mother catches you.
• Begin coughing and get louder and louder until you get to excuse
yourself and leave the room.
• Choose a different song than was announced and begin singing it as
loud as you can.
[From "101 Things To Do During A Dull
Sermon" by Tim Sims and Dan Pegoda, (Wittenburg Door 1984), supplied by Mikey's Funnies]
After much coaxing
and nagging, little Tommy's parents finally got him to sit still during church services.
One Sunday morning, however, Tommy almost burst into tears out of frustration. He had been
exceptionally good, and he asked his mother why the congregation and choir kept telling
him to "Please be still." His mother comforted him as she explained they were
singing the hymn, "Peace Be Still."
[From Daily Devotions]
