International Pickle Week is sponsored by Pickle Packers International, who promote the
idea that pickles are the world's funniest vegetable. Not everyone agrees, however. In
fact, pickles are considered subversive by the PPP, the Pickle Protesters of Pittsburgh,
who point out that although pickles originated in Asia, they've now infiltrated the entire
world.
The PPP especially fears the increasingly popular Mediterranean
Squirting Pickle which, when ripe, explodes and squirts its seeds all over the place.
The PPP will mark International Pickle Week by calling for an
International Pickle Freeze. Which, if successful, could mean the end of chow-chow as we
know it.
Pickle Week is the brain-child of Bill "The Dill"
Moore of Pickle Packers International in Chicago.
Bill traveled the world promoting Pickle Power. He
said, "Pickle Power is neither right-wing nor
left-wing -- it's in the middle with the mustard."
One of the big Pickle Week observances is the annual Pickle Fest in Atkins, Arkansas,
featuring the World Champion Pickle Juice Drinking Contest. Which sounds like a quick way
to seriously gag your bladder.
This is International Pickle Week,
sponsored by Perky Pam Peck's Pressure-Packed Peppered Pickles of Pottstown, Pennsylvania.
It's ironic. Perky Pam packed a passel of peppered pickles in Pottstown, yet there was a
time she didn't even have a pot to pack in.
International Pickle Week marks the discovery of the pickle in India 4,030 years ago, give
or take a few centuries.
This is International Pickle
Week. How can they have a special week for pickles? What's next, National Pork & Beans
Month?
Turnip Tuesday?
Stewed Tomato Weekend?
Prune Fortnight?
I just hope they never have National Leftovers Year.
How about a little pickle trivia?
What is the fastest way to get rid of ants?
Just peel a cucumber, sort of grind up the peel, and sprinkle it
around the ants. They'll high-tail it out of there as fast as an ant can high-tail.
That's not pickle trivia, that's cucumber trivia. Who's been
messin' with my files?
