CIA Analyzing Latest Terror Tape

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) — One day after claiming responsibility for the Christmas Day underpants bomber, Osama bin Laden appeared in a new terror tape in which he claimed responsibility for the Balloon Boy hoax that held the nation spellbound last year.

"The so-called Balloon Boy claimed that he ‘did it for the show,’” a stern-faced bin Laden says on the tape, which surfaced Sunday morning. "In point of fact, he did it for jihad!"

In the somewhat rambling tape, bin Laden spends 45 minutes claiming responsibility for other things, including the massive Tylenol recall, John Edwards' illegitimate baby and the Detroit Lions' NFL season.

According to a CIA analyst familiar with the tape, a new characterization of Osama bin Laden may be beginning to emerge: "He's like a movie executive: No matter how little he was involved, he claims credit."

Elsewhere, Tiger Woods denied reports that he had changed his ringtone to "Pants on the Ground."

Award-winning humorist, television personality and film actor Andy Borowitz is author of the book "The Republican Playbook." To find out more about Andy Borowitz and read his past columns, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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