Comedy Calendar

February 13, 2010

     The oldest public school in the U.S., Boston Latin School, was founded on this date in 1635. Discipline was easier in those days. You didn't have to worry about kids coming to school carrying a concealed musket.
     The food in the school cafeteria was terrible -- especially the creamed wild turkey on toast.
     But the buffaloburgers weren't half bad.

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     The first state university in the U.S., the University of North Carolina, opened on this date in 1795. Just in time for spring break.

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     On this day in 1741 Andrew Bradford of Pennsylvania published the first American magazine. He went broke after three issues, but Bradford did not give up. For 15 years he scraped and saved until, finally, in 1757 he had enough money to publish another magazine. And this time he went broke after only two issues.

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     The "Prince Valiant" comic strip debuted on this date in 1937. In the comics a character who fights for truth and justice is a fictional hero; whereas in real life, a character who fights for truth and justice is a fictional hero.

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     On this date in in 1963 France exploded its first atomic device in the Sahara Desert. This would have been even more impressive if they hadn't been aiming at Italy.

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     On this day in 1990 Buster Douglas became the new world heavyweight champ by knocking out Mike Tyson in Tokyo. And the next day Buster's phone rang off the hook with calls—from National Hockey League scouts.

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     On this date in 1633 the astronomer Galileo arrived in Rome where he would be tried for saying that the earth revolved around the sun. Even in those days nobody liked a smart-alec.

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     On this day in 1866 in Liberty, Missouri, Jesse James and his gang robbed their first bank. Jesse used the money to buy a ranch. And, ironically, the mortgage payments were so high, Jesse spent the rest of his life being robbed by the bank he robbed.

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     Millionaire playboy Dagwood Bumstead was disinherited and lost the family fortune on this day in 1933 when he married fan dancer Blondie Boopadoop. But he got Blondie, a job with Mr. Dithers, two kids, and a dog; so I guess Dagwood wasn't such an airhead after all. I just wish he'd do something about his hair.
     Blondie and Dagwood have been married 74 years and it hasn't been easy. For one thing their son is 72 and still in high school.
     It took 17 years to potty train that kid.

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     The Rev. Tony Leyva of West Palm Beach, Florida, set a world record on this day in 1977 by completing a 72-hour sermon. Rev. Leyva said he could have preached even longer, but a mysterious voice from heaven told him to sit down and shut up!
     And if you think
that was a sermon, you should have heard the one he got later from his wife.

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      On this day in 1960 France tested its first atomic bomb in the Sahara. The country that idolized Jerry Lewis had nuclear weapons. Suddenly, the communists didn’t seem so scary.

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     Legendary Grambling coach Eddie Robinson was born on this date in  1920. He’s the winningest coach in college football. He holds the record for getting drenched in Gatorade.

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     The first magazine in America was published on this day in 1747. Followed the next day by the first Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

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     Singer Tennessee Ernie Ford was born on this date in 1919. As a kid, he had such a hard time learning to spell his name, he considered running away to Ohio.

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     The Jesse James gang robbed its first bank on this day in 1866. You could tell they were inexperienced. They waited in line 15 minutes for a teller.
     They escaped with an undetermined amount of money -- and seven toasters.

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     On this date in 1977 Reverend Tony Leyva of West Palm Beach, Florida, set a world record by completing a 72-hour sermon. Ironically, on the same day Homer Hashbrown, a member of Rev. Leyva's congregation, also set a world record by completing 71½ hours of continuous snoring.

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Copyright 2010 by Joe Hickman

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