Today is Groundhog Day, the day the entire world invades a poor little creature's privacy when he wakes up and tries to go to the bathroom.

     Today is Groundhog Day, honoring the creature with the world's strongest bladder. This pudgy little guy can sleep all winter and only get up once.
     And have you noticed? If Punxutawney Phil didn't have so much hair, he'd look a lot like Al Roker.

Groundhog Trivia
Groundhog Fun

     Groundhogs never drink water. That's how they can sleep all winter without having to potty.
     Groundhogs wouldn't even get up in the spring if they didn't have a date.
     Groundhogs always have a date in the spring. So if you don't  have a date in the spring, you know you're not a groundhog.

     If you've never seen a groundhog, just try to imagine Marv Albert's hairpiece with four legs.

     Today is Groundhog Day, honoring the groundhog, whose scientific name is woodchuckus meteorologistus.

     The most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil in Pennsylvania, has been coming out of his hole and predicting the weather since 1887. Phil is so old, his shadow has liver spots.
     If they don't leave Phil alone, one of these years he's going to bite somebody -- and then we'll have an epidemic of Mad Groundhog's Disease.

     This is the 120th year that Phil the Groundhog in Punxutawney has come out of his hole to look for his shadow. At that age he's lucky his shadow can even get out of bed.

     Groundhog Day works different ways in different places:
     • In Canada: If Wharton Willie sees his shadow, it means six more hockey teams will be sold to Americans.
     • In England, if Queen Elizabeth sees her shadow, she'll have it surgically removed.
     • In Washington, D.C.: If a congressman sees his shadow, it's probably an FBI agent.
     • If President Obama sees his shadow he'll have a Secret Service agent pounce on it.

    Today is Groundhog Day. If the groundhog sees his shadow, it means the TV crew was there with a spotlight.

    Today is Groundhog Day, the day the lowly groundhog pops out of his hole to play meteorologist. I always thought a meteorologist was a doctor you went to see when you were suffering from kidney meteors.

     There is a big difference between a groundhog and (local TV weatherman). A groundhog can't screw up a five-day forecast.

     February is National Wild Bird Feeding Month. Sounds like a British observance, designed maybe to fatten up promiscuous anorexic women.

     Today is National Girls and Women in Sports Day, a day to honor all girls and women in sports, and any other athletes who sometimes wear dresses.
     Or run funny.

     Today is Groundhog Day, when the lowly groundhog jumps out of bed and peeks outside. If it's cloudy and cold, he thinks winter is over, but if it's sunny he predicts six more weeks of winter. The only thing dumber than a groundhog is somebody who thinks a groundhog knows what he's doing.

     Today is Groundhog Day, when the groundhog comes out of his hole to check the weather. Not to be confused with Hound Dog Day -- when Elvis returns to Capistrano.

     Groundhogs are so good at forecasting the weather, they'd probably be on TV if they weren't allergic to hairspray.

    Tim Harty of Coon Rapids, Michigan, finally shut up on this day in 1975 after talking continuously for six days and four minutes. He set a record, but his Adam's apple was worn down to the core.

     Today is Groundhog Day. If the groundhog sees his shadow, we'll have six more weeks of winter. Sure, I believe in the groundhog. I also believe in the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, and the Appendix Fairy.

     I know what it means when the groundhog comes out and sees his shadow. But what does it mean when he builds a fire and starts roasting woolly-bear caterpillars?

    Hudson Maxim was born on this date in 1853. He invented smokeless gunpowder. He died when he mistakenly put a pinch between this cheek and gum while blowing out the candles on his birthday cake.