Playboy published photos of Madonna in the nude on this date in 1985. That's when her manager decided that Madonna looked better in her underwear.

    The big Moose Dropping Festival is this week in Talkeetna, Alaska. They play games and have contests with moose droppings. Must embarrass the moose to death.
     Embarrasses me just to talk about it.
     I think I’ll go wash my hands.

     The Liberty Bell donged for the first time on this date in 1776. By the way, why is a bell's donger called a "clapper?" It doesn't clap, it dongs.
     I believe in calling a spade a spade and a donger a donger.

     On this day in 1835 the Liberty Bell cracked and there was nothing anybody could do about it. They'd already thrown away the sales slip.

     On this day in 1776 in Philadelphia the Liberty Bell tolled for the first time. Ironically, the Liberty Bell cracked on this same day in 1835, exactly 59 years later. Unfortunately, the bell had a 58-year warranty.

     On this day in 1975 President Gerald Ford announced he would be a candidate for the GOP presidential nomination in 1976. When he was President, Ford took many campaign trips. Every time he went out to campaign, he tripped.

     On this day in 1974 Yankee shortstop Jim Maxon tied a record with four doubles in nine innings. Some Yankees have surpassed that during Happy Hour.

     Taylor Mayne Pearl Brooks was born on this day in 1992. She’s Garth Brooks’ daughter. For her birthday, she wants Dad to get a hairpiece.

     The first Ziegfeld Follies opened at the New York Theatre on this day in 1907. The show was not produced inside the theatre, however, but on the roof. Apparently, Florenz Ziegfeld felt, if his dancing girls brought down the house, he'd rather be on it than in it.

     If you don't already have enough reasons not to do crack, here's another one. The Liberty Bell cracked on this date in 1835 and hasn't been the same since.

      On this day in 1899 in the last bareknucks championship fight, John L. Sullivan knocked out Jake Kilrain in the 75th round. It was a TKO. Kilrain ran out of blood and Sullivan ran out of knuckles.
     Jake quit fighting after that. He still had fighting in his blood, but his blood was all over the ring.

     On this day in 1693 Boston police became the first to wear uniforms. There were no police cars back then, of course, so part of the uniform included flashing red lights on the shoulders.

      Ferdinand Von Zeppelin was born in Germany on this day in 1838. Von Zeppelin invented the dirigible and made man's first controlled flight. Which, by the way, led Mrs. Van Zeppelin to file for divorce when the dirigible developed engine trouble and he asked her to get out and push.

     Today is Video Games Day, a day for kids to thank their parents for all the games and all the quarters for the arcade games. And today only, let mom and dad play one game without rolling your eyes.

      The Liberty Bell cracked on this day in 1835, another case of defective American manufacturing. If we had it to do over, we would have bought the Liberty Bell from Japan.
      They would  have guaranteed it for three centuries or 36-million ding dongs.

      The Liberty Bell cracked again on this day in 1916. The Avon Lady was sought for questioning.

     Some people think it's silly to have a cracked bell as our symbol of freedom. I say why not? After all,  most of the people running the country are cracked.

     William Mobley of Eau Claire, Michigan, set a world record for sitting pit spitting on this day in 1978 by spitting a cherry pit 49 feet from a sitting position. some men play golf, some men fish -- Willaim sits and spits pits.

     Boxer John L. Sullivan won the last bare-knuckle heavyweight championship on this day in 1899. It's a good thing boxers today have to wear gloves. Otherwise, George Foreman would have never stopped eating.

     John D. Rockefeller, founder of Standard Oil, was born on this date in 1839. Can you imagine owning your own oil company? You could probably afford a full tank of gas.

     National Nude Recreation  Days are underway, celebrating the joys of nudity. Just think, if it weren't for nudity, we'd all be taking showers with our clothes on.

      On this day in 1899 John L. Sullivan scored a 75th-round knockout over Jake Kilrain in the last bareknuckles championship fight. At least, they thought it was Kilrain. Relatives who identified the body weren't sure.

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