YOU DON'T MESS WITH
THE ZOHAN In real life, you don't mess with Adam Sandler,
who stars as a hummus-loving, indestructible Israeli
commando in the raucous and ribald, crude and surprisingly
sweet "You Don't Mess With the Zohan." In this comedy
Sandler is a superhero Israeli assassin who is tired of
all the violence. He's forced into action one more time in
order to capture a Palestinian terrorist dubbed "The
Phantom" and played by John Turturro. Problem is, Zohan
fantasizes about becoming a hairdresser. His foray from
Israel to New York (after faking his death) ends up in
Brooklyn, where immigrant Israeli and Palestinians live
uneasily in the same neighborhood. Soon, he gets hired at
a Palestinian-owned salon and, of course, falls for the
proprietor (Emmanuelle Chriqui). This movie will please
fans of Sandler's softer films ("The Wedding Singer" and
"50 First Dates," for instance) yet it still delivers the
vulgarity and sex his groupies come to expect. "You Don't
Mess With the Zohan"; running time 1 hour, 53 minutes;
rated PG-13; 3 stars.
KUNG FU PANDA - In this
animated tale, Jack Black lends his voice to Po, a clumsy
and overweight bear who loves snacking yet longs to be an
elite kung fu fighter. It looks like DreamWorks Animation
has taken a cue from the superior storytellers over at
Pixar: "Kung Fu Panda" is about a lot more than kung fu,
and it's also more than a place for Black to unleash his
over-the-top zaniness. Po is a waiter at his dad's noodle
restaurant who has an unhealthy obsession with the Furious
Five fighting team. Despite his girth, Po dreams of being
just as brave as Tigress! Viper! Mantis! Crane! Monkey!
With a cast that includes the voices of Angelina Jolie,
Dustin Hoffman, Lucy Liu and David Cross, "Kung Fu Panda"
takes us on a physical and spiritual journey toward making
Po the best fighter that China's ever seen. "Kung Fu
Panda"; running time: 1 hour, 35 minutes; rated PG; 3
stars.
RECENT RELEASES
INDIANA JONES AND THE
KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - "Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" is like a visit from an old
uncle you hadn't seen in 19 years. He shows up suddenly
with nothing but the same old stories. The film is set in
the late-1950s (the others took place in the 1930s) and we
know that because the initial soundtrack music is Elvis
Presley's "Hound Dog." It's also the era of the Cold War
and the dawn of the Nuclear Age. In one of the movie's
best segments (Warning: Spoiler here), Indy survives an
atomic blast, a cataclysmic piece of filmmaking. As a
movie-going, popcorn experience, "Indiana Jones and the
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" ranks below the series'
three previous films. More than two decades of advances in
special effects and other technology has not made "Crystal
Skull" more entertaining than the others. It is, in fact,
less interesting. "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the
Crystal Skull." Running time: 2 hours, 3 minutes. Rated:
PG-13. 2 1/2 stars.
SON OF RAMBOW - The first
thing to know about "Son of Rambow": It has about as much
to do with Rambo as Dirty Harry does with "Harry Potter"
or as Rocky Balboa does with flying squirrels. The second
thing to know about "Son of Rambow": It recalls so many
other films, you can count the cultural footnotes on your
fingers and tributes on your toes. Set in the early 1980s
but shot with the earth-toned elegance of the 1950s, "Son
of Rambow" follows an unlikely friendship between two
British boys. Perched on the edge of prepubescent
innocence, they attend a school where the girls tower
above them like trees in uniforms. Carter (Will Poulter)
is a crew-cut bully. Will (Bill Milner) is a religious
recluse. The bulk of "Son of Rambow" mirthfully depicts
the boys' growing friendship after Carter enlists Will to
be the stuntman in a shot-by-shot video remake of "Rambo:
First Blood" he's making for a competitive contest on BBC
television. "Son of Rambow." Running time: 1 hour, 36
minutes. Rated: PG-13. 2 1/2 stars.
BEFORE THE RAINS -
Breathtaking panoramas of southern India and cinematic
strokes of artistry fill "Before the Rains." Noted
cinematographer and director Santosh Sivan captures
memorable images of Kerala, his home state. Set in 1937
against the backdrop of Indian opposition to British
colonialism, the film revolves around Henry, an English
tea plantation owner and his right-hand man, Neela. For
all its loveliness and attempts to be profound, this film
is as predictable as a soap opera, albeit in a colonial
setting. It is saved by its beauty and well-etched
performances. Rahul Bose is wonderfully believable as
Neela. His performance is almost matched by Linus Roache
as Henry. "Before the Rains." Running time: 1 hour, 38
minutes. Rated: PG-13. 2 1/2 stars.
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA:
PRINCE CASPIAN - Galloping centaurs, a swashbuckling
mouse, cool bad guys, way cooler good guys, girls that
kick butt and just enough spiritual undertones for some
Christians to think that it's about them. What's not to
like in the new "Narnia" sequel? With "The Chronicles of
Narnia: Prince Caspian" audiences will see a darker,
funnier sister to the original epic adventure film that
was a box-office smash when it debuted in 2005. Like the
first "Narnia," "Caspian" is beautifully photographed with
imagery and sets befitting the medieval mythology that C.S.
Lewis, creator of this children's book series, so loved.
Heroes are bathed in light and enemies shrouded in the
darkness of an isolated castle that oozes evil. "The
Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian." Running time: 2
hours, 20 minutes. Rated: PG. 3 stars.
SPEED RACER - Speed kills,
but it also thrills. Watching Andy and Larry Wachowski's
hyperkinetic, candy-colored "Speed Racer" is like spending
two hours caroming through a pinball machine. Sense and
subtlety are road kill as the cartoon-deep plot zips by,
but your inner third grader will be too jazzed to
complain. If, that is, you still have an inner 8-year-old.
If you're totally grown-up, you'll find "Speed" a long,
dreary, migraine-inducing slog. Speed Racer - yes, that's
our hero's name - is no one's savior. He's just a
car-crazy kid who grows up to become the hottest new
talent in the World Racing League. Speed's father, Pops
Racer (John Goodman), runs a family racing business. Mom
Racer (Susan Sarandon) encourages Speed to follow in the
skid marks of older brother Rex (Scott Porter, the
disabled quarterback in TV's "Friday Night Lights") - even
after Rex's spectacular career ends in a fiery, and
apparently fatal, accident. "Speed Racer" takes audiences
for a fast, good-natured ride. A kiddy ride, yes, but on
occasion it's a blast to let the youngsters slam the pedal
to the metal. "Speed Racer." Running time: 2 hours, 9
minutes. Rated: PG. 3 stars.
MADE OF HONOR - It's only
natural to make the comparison between Patrick Dempsey's
"Made of Honor" and Julia Roberts' "My Best Friend's
Wedding." Both movies are about boy/girl best friends who
don't realize how much they love each other until one of
them gets engaged. In 1997, Roberts was the anguished
"best man" who watched Dermot Mulroney marry Cameron Diaz.
Now, in the post-metrosexual age, Dempsey is the maid of
honor for his gal pal, Hannah. Dempsey plays Tom, a
Casanova with a mean streak who can only say "I love you"
to dogs. He and Hannah have one of those flirty platonic
relationships. Michelle Monaghan is delightful as Hannah.
She's smart and beautiful and has excellent taste in
clothes. As the movie unfolds with its gorgeous scenes of
New York and Scotland, it becomes more clear that "Made of
Honor" isn't like "My Best Friend's Wedding" at all. No,
with it's easy predictability and super obvious plot, it
actually has more in common with another famous boy/girl
pair of best friends: Ross and Rachel from "Friends."
"Made of Honor." Running time: 1 hour, 41 minutes. Rated:
PG-13. 2 1/2 stars.
IRON MAN - "Iron Man" is
an ironclad jump-start to the summer movie season, a
brainy adventure about a snarky, self-centered
weapons-of-mass-destruction manufacturer Tony Stark
(Robert Downey Jr.) who suddenly, thrillingly sees the
light. The opening segment, with the genius, playboy
industrialist riding in a Humvee amid a dangerous war
zone, cocktail in one hand, exchanging small talk with the
troops, is an example of powerful understatement. Then
comes a rebel attack in which Stark is seriously injured
and kidnapped. In a dank cell with another captured
scientist (Shaun Toub, wearing a tie and vest,
inexplicably), Stark's life is saved by the insertion of a
glowing, electro-magnet in his chest that keeps shrapnel
from creeping to the heart and killing him. Stark is
forced by his captors to build a state-of-the-art,
missilelike weapon called Jericho, which he planned on
selling them in the first place. The cellmates, instead,
conspire secretly to construct a flying suit. It works.
"Iron Man." Running time: 2 hours, 6 minutes. Rated:
PG-13. 3 1/2 stars.
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RATINGS
4 STARS - Excellent.
3 STARS - Worthy.
2 STARS - Mixed.
1 STAR - Poor.
0 - Forget It (a dog.)
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