Family

The Dog and Cat Food Conspiracy - We don't even know if cats and dogs like the taste of chicken gristle, beef liver, pig snout, racehorses and other objects commonly found in hot dogs.

How to Re-Spark a Marriage - If you are hitting a lull in your love life, maybe this article will do you some good. Do not panic. Do not rush and get a divorce. A lot of people feel the same way you do.

Assault With a Deadly Vegetable - Each night when my girlfriend, Christine, gets home from work I can generally tell by the look on her face how her day went. On this particular evening it appeared as though someone had thrown an entire box of scalding hot French fries in her face. Upon further inquiry, it turns out that someone had.

Kid's Home Library: Encourage Kids to Play Outdoors and Appreciate Nature - Kids should play outdoors, period. When kids are exploring, riding bikes, playing ball and running about outside, they're not overeating, watching too much TV or engaging in inappropriate video-game playing. These helpful new books encourage children to go out and play.

How Does God Talk to You? - God can talk by thunder because thunder is really God talking out loud," says Dianna, 8.He's All Bark - Barking is as natural as breathing. Triggered by a state of excitement, barking is a dog's means of communicating anger, loneliness, fear, playfulness or a need for something.

Why Can't We See God? - "We cannot see God because he needs his privacy," says Patrick, 10. Patrick probably doesn't want anyone coming into his room without knocking first. Megan, 8, thinks God likes to be alone. "If everybody saw him, they would always crowd around him."

Sex at the University - A new study led by the University of Minnesota €” "The Financial Consequences of Too Many Men: Sex Ratio Effects on Saving, Borrowing, and Spending" €” concluded that when men outnumber women, men save less and spend more, presumably to show off. When women outnumber men, men save more and spend less, presumably because they figure they are manna from heaven, so why bother with the dipping sauce? Which just may lead you to wonder: What other shocking sexual secrets are scientists finally cracking?

Kids Talk  about God: How Do You Sense God's Presence? (Part 5 of 6) - "I sensed God's presence when he gave me courage to pull my cousin out of a deep ditch with a fishing net, and later that night, I knew God had helped me," says Dustin, age 9.

Black History Month Books Enlighten Young Readers - So many worthy books chronicle the strength and perseverance of African-Americans who overcame hardship. These books not only present freedom marchers and civil rights advocates, but they also introduce a pivotal baseball player, a grandmother who sang publically despite obstacles and a girl who learns about "jumping the broom."

Intriguing Non-Fiction for Kids - Begin the winter school semester with educational books that take young readers on amazing journeys.

Kids Talk  about God: How Do You Sense God's Presence? (Part 1 of 6) - "I can sense God's presence through my little brother," says Cole, 10. For many with little brothers, sensing God's presence through them would be a most unusual phenomenon. But all things are possible with God.

The Last Cameron Column - Ages and ages ago ? like, 1993 ? people would purchase a PC, plug it in and then stare in wonder at all the error messages. There wasn't much else to do with the things if you weren't part of the "information economy," though people gave it their best shot.

I Hate My Cell Phone - My cell phone has a special app that allows me to eject Alec Baldwin from an airplane. I can look up a recipe for bananas flambe or find the nearest fire extinguisher to put the bananas flamb -out. It's a "smart phone," so intelligent that I recently caught it looking for an app to replace me.

'Tween 12 and 20 - Teenagers have problems and they're eager to find solutions.

What Can We Learn About Christmas From the Song of Mary? - "The rich are empty and the poor are wealthy," says Laney, 9.

It?s the Holidays - Because it is the holidays most people gain a little weight around this time of year, and then lose it in the spring. I do the same thing, except for the losing-it part.

Have a Holly, Corporate-Sponsored, Adult-Supervised Christmas - The reason we love the classic Christmas specials so much isn't just that we watched them as kids. It's also that the kids in them ARE kids. They do stuff. They make stuff. They go outside and chop themselves a tree or deliver medicine for the pharmacist or even lick a flagpole, instead of sitting in the back seat watching "SpongeBob SquarePants" as Mom drives them to basketball practice.

Sometimes Dinner Really Bugs Me - You may wonder why insects are causing so much buzz lately. It's because people are eating them -- and not just in order to get on Reality Television.

Thanks for Nothing, Amtrak - Were you planning to have your tween take the train to your ex's this Christmas? Too bad. Amtrak has just raised its unaccompanied minor age from 8 to 13.

Kids Talk  about God: Is Life an Accident? - "God created all things on purpose," says Carlee, 7. "He wanted something to enjoy, and that thing is you and me."

Aiming to Please but Slightly off Target - I wish my old school-bus drivers would start minding their own business and stop slandering my good name. That's right, my beef is with bus drivers ? the crushers of little children's souls. I had three bus drivers throughout the course of my public education, and I thought their reign of weekday torture and Gestapo maneuverings had come to an end with high school.

High School: I Was There, and I Can Prove It -  I pulled out my old high school yearbook the other day. It's amazing how little I've changed except for my looks.

Code Word for Health Care: Stat - Good news for doctors! Under federal mandate, they will no longer be forced to pick from 18,000 numerical claim codes when filing an insurance claim for an office visit. Now, the number of claim codes will be 140,000.

?W. Bruce Cameron: Car-Buying Trauma - Alert readers of this column are aware that I've recently been advised by my trusty mechanic, Marvin Walletdrainer, that my car is ready to cross the rainbow bridge.

Bold Books Introduce Kids to Gladiators, Wagon Trains, Thomas Jefferson and Pop-Up Physics Fun - Try pushing these fantastically fun non-fiction books on your kids as an antidote to Captain Underpants and vampire tales from time to time.

Kids Talk  about God: What Color is God? - "I think God is light blue and white, because I think he watches us from the clouds," says Brittany, age 9.

Take a Bite Out of Dog Theft - McGruff the Crime Dog has been helping kids "take a bite out of crime" for more than 30 years. Now, with the economy in the tank and dog theft on the rise, it's time to give back.

Kids Home Library: Back to School Books - Kids, cover your ears! It's that time of the year again...time to introduce back to school books. These brand new picture books can help ease the back to school transition for the youngest of students.

?W. Bruce Cameron: My Kind of Criminals - I've always thought that I'd make a pretty good police officer, except maybe for the danger part. I have a rare medical condition that makes it difficult for me to risk getting shot, so probably I'd have to be one of those officers who work in "do not shoot" areas.

The Perfect Way to Raise a Difficult Child - Every parent wants their children to be perfect little angels but the reality is that most children are anything but perfect. In fact, more and more children are becoming very difficult to raise.

Zesty Books Kids Will Devour = This brand new batch of novels for young people is extra active and absorbing ? perfect for reluctant, and eager, readers.

Kids Talk about God: Why Does God Allow Bad Things to Happen to People? - Given our tendency toward self-reliance, the bad things we encounter can drive us "to depend on God," "to learn something" and "to come closer to Him," say Katy, 7, Kelly, 6, and Kelsey, 7.

?My Unnecessary Sister - There's a legend in my family that when I was 7 years old, I tried to trade my sister for a dog. This isn't actually true: I would never have done that! What I said was that if the family across the street wanted my sister, they could have her. I never asked them to give up their dog, for heaven's sake.

Leave Your Kids on the Bus - Just read about a new camp in Austin, Texas. It's for teens who want to get around the city by public bus.

?W. Bruce Cameron: What to Do at the Airport for 10 Hours - When I show up at the airport two hours before my flight, I am unaware that my arrival will be the only on-time part of the trip.

Kids Talk about God; How Can I Glorify God? (Parts 1, 2, & 3) - "I can give all my clothes to charity. Well, at least the ones that don't fit me," says Kelsey, 10.

W. Bruce Cameron: An Unauthorized Autobiography - One of the main things I like about the following autobiography is that it's not written posthumously. Another attractive feature is that, in the spirit of recent memoirs like "A Million Pieces at a Buck Each" or whatever it was called, I've been able to take certain "artistic liberties" in order to make me seem more "good."

The Underpants Report - You know you're going to have a bad day when you're forced to put on your emergency underpants.

Kid's Home Library: Animal Personalities Teach Valuable Affirmations - Authors and artists use animals in books to demonstrate life lessons. Sure to please animal lovers, these engaging picture books are whimsical reads with informative messages.

W. Bruce Cameron: Father and Daughter Speak: A Translation - Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears.

When Adults Are Banished - She has been a preschool aide since Adam and Eve were drinking from sippy cups. Her curls are gray; her glasses hang from a chain. Ten years ago, it was my kids she watched over with love and laughs. The other day, I went back to pay her a visit and found a frown on the face I always remember smiling. Why?

W. Bruce Cameron: Phoning It in to My Parents - My mother called me a few days ago to proudly announce that she and my father now have voicemail, which they don't. What they have is an answering machine my mother found at a garage sale, which is where I think she also found my birthday presents: four t-shirts that all say "Call Me Pinky" on the front.

Confessions of a Radical Revolutionary - Not too many people know it, but when I was in junior high, I was a pretty tough kid and was the leader of a street gang. Well, OK, it was less a street gang than an Ecology Club. We were pretty intimidating, though, and had our own meeting room until we got run out of there by a bunch of thugs from the Poetry Society.

Kids Talk about God; How Do You Worship God in Spirit and Truth? - "I worship in truth by reading the word of God and having faith that the word of God is 100 percent true, and that God is within me," says Grace, 10.

Attack of the Snack Food Giants - For years, a steady anger grew within me as I watched one candy bar manufacturer or snack food company after another slowly decrease the size or quantity of their product, but the price remained the same or rose.

W. Bruce Cameron: That's a Wrap - Mother's Day is many weeks off, so you have plenty of time to procrastinate. But eventually you're going to have to purchase a gift, which means you're going to have to wrap it.

Saving Teens From Themselves - What are 14.5 percent of American teens thinking about? Hint: It's not sex.  It's suicide.

W. Bruce Cameron: Secrets to a Happy Marriage - A recent study determined that marriages are happiest when the wife is thinner and better looking than the husband, which is why I am doing my best to be as fat and ugly as possible.

Kid's Home Library: Kids Can Learn More About Traveling With These Enlightening Books - Young readers love books that open their eyes to the rest of the world. These new books provide "Cool Stuff Every Kid Should Know" about U.S. cities the world's grasslands, the Dominican Republic and ancient Greece.

Education Prevents Dog Bites - Three calls in three days, each the same: two parents, their offspring and one growling, biting dog. The difference is only in the details.

What Does it Mean to Worship God? (Part 2 of 3) - "Worshipping God to me means that I can have a connection with him. It's like I can go to him and worship, and I can lift a heavy burden from my shoulders," says Sarah, 11.

Kids Talk about God; What Does it Mean to Worship God? (Part 1 of 3) - "To worship God is paying attention to nobody else but God," says Pruitt, 11. "If you don't do it, it sort of messes you up."

W. Bruce Cameron: Puppy vs. Baby - I am beginning to think that there are some key differences between a puppy and a baby.   I suggest you save this article and refer to it whenever you find yourself forgetting which is which.

Safety Tips We Don't Need - Recently, my friend found this posted on her PTA's website ? some friendly tips from the local police department's "safety expert."  The note provided tons of tips, from the sensible (lock your doors) to the wacky (never leave your child in the car, even when you pump gas). But one thing it failed rather spectacularly to do was this: tell the truth.

Kids Talk About God: Why Should We Give Thanks to God? - On Thanksgiving Day, families all over America sit down to dinner at the same time ? halftime.

The Usual Eccentric: Christine and Our Cancer - When someone you love dearly has cancer, it's like you have been diagnosed with it, too. At some point, my girlfriend Christine's ovarian cancer became our cancer. The physical pain she felt after treatments, as she curled herself into a ball on the couch clutching a blanket, became my pain, as well. Our pain.

W. Bruce Cameron: Old Fishermen Never Die -- They Just Smell That Way - As part of my "Keep Fit!" exercise regimen, I start every day off with a brisk, active walk to the doughnut shop. Well, OK, most mornings I drive.

Lenore Skenazy: How's My Texting? - "My Car Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student."

The Scariest Thing About Halloween - Trick or treat! Trick or treat! Do not snatch me off the street!

Here Comes Tucker - October is National Sarcastic Awareness Month. Right, I'll be sure to celebrate that. It's also National Caffeine-Addiction-Recovery Month, but I don't know what events the organizers are planning because I've slept through the meetings.

Oktoberfest - "Oktoberfest" is a festival named after October and held in September. If you were in Munich last month, you were probably celebrating by eating vast quantities of Rokeg (meat and blood pastry), Schweinshaxe (ham hock) and Alka-Seltzer.

The Usual Eccentric: Out of the Frying Pan and into the Tire Fire - In a fit of horticultural rage, I axe murdered a two-story bush with gardening shears before realizing, "What in tarnation am I going to do with this thing now?"

Lenore Skenazy: Don't Let This Happen to YOU! - It always goes something like this: "Please Read! Your Safety Matters!" And it's an e-mail about some horrible story that makes you want to run and hide under a rock (after you've sent it to all your friends).

Kids Talk about God: How Do You Know You?re Going to Heaven (John 3:9-21)? - "My grandma thinks I'm going to heaven," says Kole, age 6.

Eek! A Man! - All men are perverts until proven otherwise.

The Usual Eccentric: This Is a List You Never Want To Be On - I encourage my dog go to the bathroom in the yards of neighbors I don't like. No matter what, I'm not going to stop.

Put Down That Axe! - Maybe we don't have to worry about global warming or Iran or sun flares. Maybe we all will be dead in 10 days anyway, if my sons keep it up. They just discovered Axe.

The Usual Eccentric: The Time We (Almost) Defeated the Meanest Dog Ever - Old Man Morgan's horse farm sits atop a steep hill on the outskirts of my hometown of Laura, Ohio. When I was a kid, the meanest dog in the world held court there. On a muggy August day in 1996 == the day before the first day of high school --three foolish boys tried challenging that thing.

Lenore Skenazy:  Red Rover, Red Rover, Let Kate Moss Come Over! - The chittering of birds, the smell of chlorine, the sting of a shoulder's sunburn. And, of course, the lazy, crazy, hazy days of catwalk prowling and eyelash curling.

W. Bruce Cameron: Dog Words - I've read that an average dog possesses a vocabulary of 200-300 words, which is enough for him to have his own Twitter account. Most people won't buy their dogs a smartphone, though, so you don't see too many canines tweeting their friends unless they have access to a computer.