If Mom is a sustained, lasting light, then Dad is a spark.
It is certainly true in my family, where the men simply
produce a different kind of energy. Dads and Grandpas are
wonderfully familiar but, at the same time, exotic.
Some of my most vivid memories from childhood took place
during weekend car rides, just my Dad and I. They are
engraved in my memory not because we did anything
particularly exciting or adventurous (these were mostly just
weekly errands, with the occasional stop at a donut shop).
And it was not the conversation; we did not do much talking
at all. There was just something different about being with
him.
It is that way in the family that I have created, too. For
my daughters, Cassie and Callie, Daddy is an exclamation
point at the end of each day.
I am certain that two year old Cassie does not know how to
tell time, but at precisely 6:30 every weeknight, she has
her nose pressed against the glass, waiting for the sound of
that familiar truck to rumble up the driveway.
Callie, almost three months old, coos and grins at me all
day, but when Dad comes home, her muscles really start to
work. She starts making little jabs with her arms and legs.
Her mouth forms an "o" shape. She is a picture of pure
concentration.
When my daughter and I were living with my parents awaiting
the birth of Callie, Grandpa would announce his arrival each
evening with two quick honks. "Grandpa! Grandpa!" Cassie
would run to the door so fast that her socks would send her
sliding across the linoleum.
The wide eyed way Cassie looks at the men in her life just
melts my heart. I can only imagine what it does to them.
Like most toddlers, her whole face has a feeling, not just
her mouth.
I wonder how things would change (with our husbands, our
fathers, our mothers, our children, our friends) if we all
greeted one another like this. If we carried this intensity
into all of our relationships. If we ran so fast that we
slid to greet the important people in our lives.
An Oprah episode a few years back had Toni Morrison asking,
"Do your eyes light up when your children come into the
room?" Because that is what they are looking for, Morrison
said.
I find myself reflecting on that wisdom frequently. Because
is that not what we are all looking for?
