| I don't
know how the teachers can be expected to accomplish anything these days. There's too much
fighting, drinking, and drugs. And that's just at the PTA meetings. Actually, there are times when child abuse
should be legal. Like when the child orders the $4.95 burger deluxe and just eats the
pickles.
Kids learn a lot from television.
The 4-year-old next door asked me if I used Miracle Gro on my tummy?
The kids don’t watch nearly
as much television since we ordered them to watch more because it’s good for them.
Q: Which is noted as Canada’s "child friendly
city:" (a) Calgary; (b) Saskatoon; or (c) Vancouver?
A: Calgary. It's mission
statement is "to build a city that is known worldwide for its respect of children and
its encouragement of their participation as citizens in their community."
Great
Truths About Life That Children Have Learned From Experience:
* No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
* When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your
hair.
* If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always
catch the second person.
* Never ask your 3-year-old brother to hold a tomato.
* You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
* Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
* Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
* Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic Tac.
* Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
* School lunches stick to the wall.
* You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
* Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. No
matter how cute the underwear is. [Thanks to Brock]
A new government study shows that
kids’ favorite vegetables are carrots, tomatoes, and green M&Ms.
I have a great idea for a federal
make-work program. How about assigning every unemployed person a 2-year-old to clean up
after?
We're going to ask the baby's
pediatrician about a transplant. We want to see if he can install drip-dry kidneys.
From the Mother's
Dictionary:
Drooling: how babies wash their chins.
There's an
interesting difference of opinion in my family. I'm afraid my kids won't be as intelligent
as I am, and they're afraid they will be. |
