My dog is
something. When he rides in the car he has to sit up front so he can listen to the station
he wants to.
This dog is smart. My wife taught him to open the refrigerator and now he goes in and
makes his own sandwiches.
My dog is really smart. Last Sunday he taught me how to catch a frisbee in my mouth.
My dog is a pointer. When I say the word "lemon" he points to my car.
How come you can teach dogs to sit up, lay down and roll over, and play dead, but you
can't teach them to wipe their feet?
I bought my dog
one of those glow-in- the- dark flea collars. He hates it. Says it clashes with his
reflective jogging suit.
My dog is always scratching himself. I guess that's what I get for buying him at a flea
market.
My veterinarian is a little strange. I took my dog in for his shots. He got a rabies, a
distemper, and a Jim Beam.
A dog makes a
wonderful pet -- especially if you thoroughly enjoy having your face licked.
How come a dog is relatively easy to house-break, but darn-near impossible to patio-break?
I just got a new dog. It's a very rare breed -- a Nerd-Dale. Good
breeding, but stupid!
Beginning November 1st it's illegal to own a dog in Flooper, Florida. The law was enacted
as a rabies control measure, but dog lovers aren't happy about it. In fact, some of
them reportedly are foaming at the mouth.
And if you think they're unhappy, what about the guy who just invested his life savings in
a Flooper Pooper-Scooper franchise?
It's true. You can't teach an old dog new tricks. Which is why you so seldom see an old
dog trying to saw a woman in half.
If you come upon a strange dog, it's a good practice to let him smell your hand. I try it
with people, too -- and I've only been bitten twice.
The hardest thing about getting a puppy from the dog pound is years later when you have to
tell him he's adopted.
