I won’t say my
husband is boring, but he does seem to have an unnatural passion for weather stripping. Today’s prenuptial tip for brides.
Remember, your husband may not come with a lifetime warranty, but you can make sure he
does come with a money-back guarantee.
I won’t say he’s a
couch potato. He’s more of a couch Dorito.
Last night my husband threw
himself on the floor, pounded the carpet, and screamed and kicked his feet in the air. He
always does this when Baywatch is pre-empted.
Today’s tip for wives. Your
husband won’t mind helping you with the housework if you can somehow convince him
it’s a sport.
Men just don’t get any
respect these days. I heard my little daughter saying her prayers, and she said, "God
bless Mommy, and Brother, and old Whatshisname that washes the car."
A man is on the phone;
he's frantic. He says, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart!"
The doctor says, "Is this her first child?"
The guys says, "No, you idiot! This is her husband!"
If I’ve told
my husband once, I’ve told him a thousand times: Golf shoes go on the top rack of the
dishwasher!
You know why men can go to sleep
watching a baseball game? Because baseball doesn’t have any cheerleaders!
You know the honeymoon
is over when he stays up to watch a re-run on ESPN of a game he watched last Sunday.
One of the great mysteries of
life is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the
smartest grandchild in the world.
We had a formal wedding. They even
stopped the pool game for a few minutes.
Top
Ten Reasons Not to Kill Your Husband
