Q: Which do
more children prefer for lunch: (a) a hamburger; (b) a peanut butter & jelly sandwich;
or (c) a balogna sandwich?
A: Peanut butter & jelly
(Are You Normal by Bernice Kanner).
The kids don’t watch nearly
as much television since we ordered them to watch more because it’s good for them.
Q: In
which nation has it been against the law for years for children under 12 to ride in the
front seats of cars: (a) Italy; (b) Belgium; or (c) Switzerland?
A: Switzerland.
Want your kids to read a lot this
summer and watch less TV? It's easy. Just tell them you'll die if you catch them reading a
book.
Tell them reading is too expensive.
And will ruin their eyes and rot their brain and cause pimples.
And they are absolutely forbidden to
associate with anyone who can read.
Q:
You are seriously pregnant. According to Parenting magazine, should you pack your
hospital bag: (a) one week; (b) two weeks; or (c) four weeks before your due date?
A: Four weeks.
And remember, kids, reading can be twice the fun if you use a live lizard
for a bookmark.
Q:
Would more American teenagers like to visit: (a) the White House; (b) Graceland; or (c)
the Grand Canyon?
A: The Grand Canyon (American
Demographics).
A new government study shows that
kids’ favorite vegetables are carrots, tomatoes, and green M&Ms.
Q:
Your daughter has decided to major in oology (oh-ology). Will she likely spend most of her
life: (a) unemployed; (b) studying bird eggs; or (c) researching toes?
A: Studying bird eggs.
The biggest problem facing
children today is worrying about how their parents will turn out.
Q:
Who said, "Never have more children than you have car windows." Was it: (a)
Michael Jackson; (b) Erma Bombeck; or (c) Carol Brady?
A: Erma Bombeck.
You can fool some of the people
all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool Mom.
Q:
The rose is the official Father’s Day flower. What flower was first proposed as the
official Father’s Day flower: (a) the cactus; (b) the stinkweed; or (c) the
dandelion?
A: Dandelion. "The more
it is trampled on, the more it grows."
