Why does Santa get such good mileage?
    His sled has long-distance runners on each side.

Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?
    Because every buck is dear to him.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?
    Crisp Cringle.

What did Santa shout to his toys on Christmas Eve?
    Okay everyone, sack time!!

Did you know that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
    Its true ... Comet cleans sinks!

What nationality is Santa Claus?
    North Polish.

What kind of bird can write?
    A PENguin.

If athletes get athlete's foot, what do astronauts get?
    Missletoe.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
    Claustrophobic.

Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
    Because he had low elf esteem.