A blonde girl listening to her
ear-phones went to the hair dresser's. She sat in the
waiting room until the hair dresser called her in. When
the hair dresser asked the girl to take out her
ear-phones but she said, " No, no."
Then the hair dresser said, "Yes, take them out or else
I will not be able to do your hair cut."
The girl yelled, "No, seriously, I will
die!"
"Don't be silly, " said the hair dresser while pulling
out the girls ear plugs.
A few seconds later the girl died.
The hair dresser put the ear-phones to her ears
and all she heard was "Breathe in.... Breathe out...."
(Hannah, age 11, who adds "I hope this does not
offend blondes. P.S.; I am a blonde)
A doctor asked a patient: "If I were to cut one of your
ears off, what will happen to you?"
Patient: "Then I will not be able to hear..."
Doctor: "Hmm…that's normal...so if I were to cut your
other ear off, what will happen then?"
Patient: "I will not be able to see..."
The doctor became nervous and asked: "Why would you not
see then??"
Patient: "Because my spectacles will fall off..."
(Yu Song, age 11)
Three guys fall out
of a boat but only two get their
hair wet.
Why?
Because
the third
guy
was bald!
(Brandon,
age 12)
A
mother told her child who always wakes up late "Early
birds catches more worms."
The child replied,
"Early worms are caught by
early birds."
(Mayrille,
age 10)
What
country always runs out of breath?
Iran.
(Yasaman,
age 11)
Why didn't the
skeleton cross
the road ?
He didn't have the guts to
do it. (Destiny,
age 9)
What
color is a belch?
Burple.
(Callie,
age 11)
What
do you get when you cross
a turtle and a porcupine?
A slow poke.
(KiAna, age 10)
Why didn't
the chicken cross the road?
There
was a KFC on the other side.
(Lindsay,
age 11)
Why is the river so
rich?
Because
it has two
banks.
(Destiny, age 9)
Why do rhinos have so
many wrinkles?
Because
they are too
hard to iron.
(Lauren,
age 9)
Q:
What did the lion say when he saw a kid on a skateboard?
A; Meals on wheels! (Danielle,
age 10)
Why did
the rooster cross the road?
To show that he wasn't a
chicken!
(Kailey,
age 11)
When
did the man go to the dentist?
At tooth-hurty!
(Omar,
age 8)
Why did
the chicken cross the road?
To
see his dead friend.
(Morgan,
age 8)
Where
do rabbits eat breakfast?
At IHOP!
(Dante, age 12)
Why didn't
the skeleton
go to
the party?
Because
he had no body to go with.
(Katiey,
age 12)
What's
an ig?
An
Eskimo's
home without no loo!
(Megan,
age 8)
What do you call four
bull
fighters in quicksand?
Quatro
sinco.
(Leanna,
12)
Three boys went to the park
and found a magic man under the slide. He said, "Whatever
you shout down the slide you get at the bottom."
So the
first boy went down the slide
and shouted,
"Gold!" And he landed in a
big pile of gold.
The
second boy went down and shouted,
"Silver'"
and
he landed in a pile of silver.
The
last boy went down
the
slide and yelled,
"Weeeeee!"
And he landed
in a pile of weeeeee!!
(Lauren, age 8)
What
do you call cheese isn't
yours?
Na-cho cheese!!
(Kaley,
age 12)
Q: What is a baby's favorite
exercise?
A: Spit-ups.
(Michaela,
age 12)
What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A woolen jumper. (Lauren,
age 13)
Why did it rain?
The clouds were sad! (Kendall, age 11)
What do you call a sheep without any legs?
A cloud. (Shrook,
age 9)
A
butcher is 5-foot-7. So what does he
weigh?
Meat! (Chloe, age 13)
Why did the balloon do well in school ?
It flew to the top of the class. (Tia,
age 9)
Once there was an old man drowning in the water.
A boat came by and asked, " Do you need any help?"
The old man said, " No, but thanks anyway."
Then another boat came by and said," Need any help? "
The old man said, " No, God will save me."
So he finally drowned and went up to heaven.
He asked God," Why didn't you save me?"
God said," I sent you two boats down there, you Dummy!!"
(Briyana, age 9, and Summer, age 10)
What has four legs but can't walk?
A table. (Katelyn, age 9)
Don't ever kiss your honey,
When your nose is runny;
You might think its funny,
But, believe me, it's not
Because it SNOT! (Gabby, age 9)
Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team?
Because she ran away from the ball! [Holly, age 10]
What did the man say when he walked into the bar?
OUCH! [Rachel,
age 10]
Why was Mr. Cookie sad?
Because he was feeling crummy.
[Nicole, age 12]
Which is the biggest ant?
Elephant. (Jamtsho,
age 12)
With what kind of animal should you never play cards?
A cheetah! (Adam, age 44?)
What time is it when an elephant sits on your face?
Time to get a new face. (Madolyn,
age 7)
Once there was a teacher and
two girls. It was their first day at school and the teacher says, "Are you twins?"
And the girls say, "No."
"We were born in the same hospital but not twins
"And our birthdays are on the same day."
And the teacher says, "Then why aren't
you twins!?"
"Because," another sister behind the teacher said, "We're triplets!!" (Kiarakaely, age 8)
Which of Shrek's keys
doesn't open the door?
His DONKEY! (Vibha, age 6)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Hatch.
Hatch who?
Bless you.
(Ashleigh, age 9)
What does Dracula take when he's sick?
Coffin syrup. (Evan, 12)
What do you call a car with food on it?
FAST FOOD! (Maddie,
age 11)
How come the dalmatian couldn't hide?
Because he was already spotted! (Ava, age 13)
Why do witches wear name tags?
To tell
which witch is which. [Stephanie age 12+,
Eugene age 9]
What kind of apple has a short temper?
A crabby apple. (Victoria,
age 8)
