Why did the boy throw his sandwich out of
the window?
To see the butter fly! Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station. (Callie, age 8)
Would you remember me in a
day?
Would you remember me in a week?
Would you remember me in a month?
Would you remember me in year?
Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
I thought you said that you would remember me!
(Marni, age 7)
Sam: "Would you tell
me off for something I didn't do?
Teacher: "Of course not."
Sam: "Good, because I didn't do my homework."
(Nicola, age 12)
What does Christmas and a
kitten walking in sand have in common?
Sandy Claus.
What goes up but never
comes down?
Your age.
What do you call cheese that's
not yours?
Nacho Cheese. (Dalton, age 8)
A man leaves home and goes to the
corner and turns left. He walks to the next corner and turns left, and then another left.
On his way home he is confronted by two masked men. Who are the two masked men?
The Catcher and Umpire! (Lindsay, age 8)
What does an elephant do when it
has a sore toe?
It calls a "toe" truck! (Leonard - Age 45)
What kind of pizza does a man who
hates salt like?
A pepper-only pizza. (Devon, age 7)
What runs but never walks?
Water. (Matthew, age 6)
What is the difference between a
bird and a fly?
A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird! (Kim, age 14)
Who is Peter Pan's worst-smelling
friend?
Stinkerbell (Eric, age 9)
Did you hear about the man that had his entire left side cut off?
He's all right now.
What do you get if you cross a
snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite. (James, age7)
Q: What did Jesus, George
Washington, and Martin Luther King all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays. (Elizabeth, age 10)
What is a mouse's favorite game?
Hide and squeak! (Cedric - age 9)
Why did the cookie go to the doctor?
Because he was feeling crumby! (Tami - age 10)
Why did the chicken
sit on the egg.
Because it did not have a chair. (Nitish - age 12)
First we see a mill; by the mill there is a walk; At the end of
the walk there is a key. What is it?
Answer = Milwaukee (Cassie - age 10)
What is a bear's
favorite drink?
Koka-Koala! (Jeff - age 11)
Why do grave yards
have fences around them?
Because people are dying to get in. (Drew - age 7)
What is the
difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie.
(Ashley - age 9)
Why did the farmer
plough his field with a steamroller?
Because he wanted to grow mashed potatoes. (Oliver - age 8)
Hey, did you pick your nose?
Neither did I -- I was born with mine...
(Marissa - age 5)
What did Santa say
when his toys misbehaved?
Toys will be toys
If Santa rode a motorcycle, what kind would it be?
A Holly Davidson.
You're American when
you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out. What are you in the
bathroom?
European. [Andrea, age 10]
Why
do Pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wear their buckles on their hats.
Why do gorillas have
big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
What did Batman and Robin become when runover by a bus?
Flatman and Ribbon.
What do you call a
boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What has four legs, is green, fuzzy and
if it falls out of a tree on top of you will kill you?
A pool table. [Thanks to Michael, age 11]
Why don't eggs tell jokes?
They'd crack each-other up!
Why did the elephant paint his toenails
red?
So he could hide in the strawberry patch.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a catterpillar?
Drumsticks for everyone.
Why did Tigger jump down the
toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!
What kind of ticks do you find on the moon?
Luna-ticks.
Why did the dolphin cross the beach?
To get to the other tide.
What did the digital watch say to the grandfather clock?
Look, pop, no hands!
Why was the guy fired from the orange juice factory?
He couldn't concentrate.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don't work.
What goes "ooo, oooo, oooo?"
A cow with no lips. [Cory, age 9]
Feedback