Why shouldn't you tell a secret to a pig?
He's a squealer.

What kind of paper makes you itch?
Scratch paper.

What doesn't get any wetter no matter how hard it rains?
The ocean.

What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.

How does a boat show affection?
It hugs the shore.

What goes up and down but doesn't move?
A staircase.

What can you hold without ever touching it?
A conversation.

What kind of animal doesn't believe anything?
Sheep. They always say, "Bah!"

What did the doc say when he finished the operation?
"That's enough out of you."

What's the difference between a pear and a pearl?
The letter L.

What piece of wood is like a king?
A ruler.

Where can you always find money?
In the dictionary.

When is a man like a dog?
When he's a boxer.

How can you name the capital of every U.S. state in two seconds?
Say, "Washington, DC."