The majority of men are not complex. If they are fed, have clean clothes and you
appreciate their jokes with a little extra sexiness tossed in, they are happy campers.
It's us women who make relationships difficult. We need to
lighten up and simply let them be who they are.
I love the scene in "Two Weeks Notice" where George and his
Chauffeur are talking over a game of chess and the Chauffeur says, "women want to
talk and talk until they suck the lifeblood out of you." Makes me laugh because
it is so true.
Men don't like to just sit and discuss relationship issues. They are active beings (unless
you have a couch potato). The only way you can get a man to communicate his feelings
is if you work along side them on a project or do some kind of sporting event with
them. This is their comfort zone. Then they will open up or not depending on
their mood.
So use this to your advantage. Got a window, door,
drawer or whatever which needs fixing and you don't want to do it (even though you could)
-- mention it to the man in your life and then be their grunt or gofer. While they
are fixing it and you are going for tools, etc. start talking about the fun things you've
done in your life together.
Continue to do this throughout a month's time. Once your
man is comfortable with you as a working partner, you can then start bringing up what you
feel you need to be happier together. He'll be much more open to your ideas -- in
fact, he might surprise you and even have some of his own.
If he doesn't open up, it's no big deal either. Some
men just won't but that doesn't mean they don't care. These men show their love for
you in small ways. Your car gets greased, your oil gets changed, or they shovel the snow
off the driveway in 20 degree or below weather.
Frankly, if you want to discuss relationships, or things
that really matter to you -- start talking with a woman. Women are more complex, more
interesting and pretty soon you won't even notice if
the man in your life talks or not.
Simply be appreciative of what he does have to offer and go
about building your own life to suit you. He probably already has and is enjoying
every uncomplex moment of it.
Judith Tramayne-Barth's site is http://www.agoodread.com which has free books,
articles and link pages you'll love. She also writes excellent "how-to" books
for her Art & Book Club patrons.
