A: Step one is to make a
detailed list of her weekly activities and the time each
takes. She may belong to four clubs, go to the market
three times a week, walk her dog twice a day, etc. In
analyzing the list, can she resign from one club? Could
she combine her shopping by going to the market only twice
a week? Eliminating a few of her ongoing activities would
help her stay focused.
How often and how many phone calls does she make? Is
she computer literate so she can use the efficiency of
e-mail? Does she say "yes" to others' requests just to
please them? Can she give up one of her regular television
programs? Is she losing time by not being able to find
what she needs quickly and if so, how about helping her
organize her system? Should she set up a bank automatic
bill pay plan?
Suggest she gives herself a day off each week on which
she has no commitments. She could take a walk, take a nap,
read a book or just listen to music. How about a gift of a
spa day every six months? This would help keep her
rejuvenated.
Staying engaged is important, which she appears to be
doing. You can help sort out her priorities by showing her
how best she can balance her time.
As a mom she has paid her dues, and it sounds like she
is having a great life. How lucky you are to have a mother
who has taken the positive attitude of enjoying life, love
and laughter!
Q: Our three adult
grandchildren are the simply wonderful. When we visit we
express our love for each other and really have a good
time. They live at some distance so we don't see them in
person as much as we like. For their birthdays and
holidays we try to find gifts, which reflect their
interests, plus send them checks. Our frustration is they
never respond either by thank-you notes, e-mail or phone
calls. We know they get the gifts because they cash our
checks. In our day our parents taught us to respond.
Are other grandparents experiencing the same lack of
communication?
A: Yes. Many of today's
generation no longer feel the need to respond. Sometimes
after I don't get a clue if family and friends received
gifts I mentally threaten not to send them again, but of
course have not done so.
Many of us are also disappointed by the lack of
response to our party, wedding and holiday invitations.
Recently I learned of a hostess who paid for 23 dinners
for invitees who didn't show! When questioned as to their
acceptance or inability to attend, the majority cop-out by
saying they were too busy or lost the invitation. Rarely
are these acceptable excuses. This makes it extremely
difficult for hosts to plan, get a reliable head count and
avoid no-shows.
Although I have not done so myself I am tempted to
include on my invitations the words: "I am on a tight
reservation deadline and hope you won't mind my calling to
confirm your attendance in a few days." Would that stir a
response?
Doug Mayberry lives in a retirement community in
Southern California. Send your questions to him at
deardoug@msn.com or
write to him at P.O. Box 2649, Carlsbad, CA 92018.
© Copley News Service
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