* If you can't be kind, at least have the courtesy to be vague.

    * The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

    * The easiest way to find something you've lost is to buy a replacement.

    * He who hesitates is probably right.

    * Did you ever notice that the Roman Numerals for 40 are XL?

    * It's been said that if you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 

   * There's a lot to be thankful for if you look for it. I was just thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

    * Did you ever notice that when you put the words "the" and "IRS" together, it spells "theirs?"

    * When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

    * A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.