An Aggie had just completed his studies and was awarded a BS Degree in mechanical
engineering. He was immediately hired by the Texas highway department.
His job was to paint the yellow stripe down the middle of
the highway. After three days, his boss called him in and advised him that he was no
longer needed.
When the Aggie inquired as to the reason for his dismissal,
the boss replied, "On your first day here, you painted three miles of stripe, which
is good. On your second day, you painted two miles; not as good, but still acceptable.
Today, you only painted one mile. This is too far below our standards."
The Aggie accepted the explanation, saying on his way out
the door, "Well, alright, but I want you to know, it wasn't my fault. The paint can
kept getting farther away." [Thanks to Bedford]
How do you get a Texas A & M graduate off your front porch?
You pay for your pizza! [Thanks to Diane in Baton Rouge]
What happened to the Aggie hockey
team?
They drowned in spring training.
How do you make a one-armed Aggie
fall out of a tree?
Wave. [Thanks to Spencer, age 14, Texas]
What do you get when you line up several Aggies ear to ear and
blow?
A wind tunnel. [Thanks to Aliyah]
An Aggie went riding, and
everything was going fine until the horse suddenly started bouncing out of control. He
tried to hang on, but with a foot caught in the stirrup, he fell off head-first. With his
head bouncing up and down, the horse didn't even slow down. And just as the Aggie was
giving up hope and losing consciousness, a Kmart employee came out and unplugged it.
Why does the new Aggie navy have
glass bottomed boats?
So they can see the old Aggie navy.
Why do Aggies have doormats
inside their homes?
So they can wipe their feet before they go out.
How can you tell an Aggie airliner when it's snowing?
They're the ones with chains on the propellers.
How do you sink an Aggie
submarine ?
Have a frogman knock on the hatch.
Why do Aggies always
smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.
A 2-seater plane crashed
into a cemetery near College Station. The Aggie fire department uncovered 700 bodies.
Two Aggies were flying
across the Atlantic and decided they didn't have enough fuel to make it. So the pilot
decided to lighten the load by jettisoning some fuel.
Two Aggies were pulling a large
deer through the woods. They came across a longhorn and he said, "Really nice buck
you got there, but I think if you pulled him by his horns it would be a lot better than
dragging him by his hind legs."
The Aggies tried it and after a while one said "This sure is
better. It's a lot smoother over the ground." The other said, "Yeah, but we sure
a getting farther away from the truck."
How many Aggies does it
take to eat an armadillo?
Three. One to do the eating, and two to watch for cars.
How can you tell
when an Aggie sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Q: Why does the stadium
at College Station have Astroturf?
A: To keep the cheerleaders from grazing during halftime.
Two Aggies are driving to
Houston. The driver suspects his turn signals aren't working. So he pulls over and asks
his passenger to get out and check. So the guy checks and yells to the driver, "No,
they're not working. Wait, yes they are. No, they're not. Hold it, yes, they are."
An Aggie is walking down
a creek. While he's looking around he notices another Aggie walking along the other
side of the creek. He yells to the other Aggie, "Hey, how do I get to the
other side?"
The other Aggie says, "You are on the other side!"
