* Did you ever wonder what the automatic teller machine does with all those pictures it takes?
      It bothers me.
      I figure the machine at Safeway has about 800 pictures of me, and I look either nervous or guilty in all of them.

     * I hate those ATMs. I'm always afraid I'll punch the wrong buttons and a big bell will ring and the machine will scream, "Freeze, Turkey, you're under arrest!"

     * It's always the same. You're waiting at the automatic teller machine, and the fat lady in front of you keeps looking back to make sure you're not watching her punch in her secret PIN number.
      And it takes forever because she keeps dropping  her teargas pen.
     And behind you a mean looking dude with a scar is getting very impatient.
     By the time you get to the machine you're so nervous you can't remember your own secret PIN number.