Contrary to popular belief, people don't pay
much attention to those little name-tags you wear at conventions. I wrote "Saddam
Hussein" on my last one, and only one young lady even noticed. She asked me if I ever
played for UCLA? A typical
young female executive is trim, attractive, went to a good college, likes sports--and
won't give me the time of day.
The best thing about splitting lunch
bills with the company's younger guys is that, in some restaurants, they can eat free with
an adult.
Today's dieting tip for
CEOs: Don't think of dieting as taking off fat, think of it as downsizing.
As you are aware, ships have long
been characterized as being female, (e.g. "steady as she goes" or "she's
listing to starboard" or she is a beautiful vessel".
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) got together
and announced that computers should also be referred to as females. Their reasons for this
are as follows:
1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language that they use to communicate with other
computers in incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. The message "Bad command, or file name" is about as
informative as "if you don't know why I am mad at you, then I am certainly not going
to tell you.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later
retrieval.
5. As soon as you make a committment to one, you find yourself spending
half your paycheck on accessories for it.
However. another group of computer sicentists (all female) think
that computers should be referred to as if they were males. Their reasons follow:
1. They have lots of data, but they are clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve the problems, but half the time
they are the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a
little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. One power surge knocks them out for the whole night!
[Thanks to Gary R. Heacock]
