I think I could be a better Christian if I could see just one miracle--like maybe (Ted Koppel's) hair mussed up.

     Teaching Sunday School is hard--especially when a 6-year-old says to you, "Okay, if Jesus was so cool, why didn't he wear Reeboks instead of those cheap-looking sandals?

     And right in the middle of thanking God for moms and dads, a 4-year-old yells out, "My dad shot a moose!"

     Some Christians never miss church--even when they don't go.

     There are worse places to be than in church. And I've been in most of them.

     You know the pastor needs to liven up his sermons when people show up early just to get a window seat.

     I know I should be in church more instead of playing golf. But I actually do pray more on the golf course.

      Every time I sing at church, attendance drops off. The pastor promised me two weeks' free tithe if I just lip sinc.

     Want to start some real trouble? Start a rumor that last Sunday the pastor was wearing golf shoes.

      I know I should be in church more instead of out playing golf -- but I actually do pray more on the golf course.