My favorite type of girl was
always one that would go out with me.
Twice.
I could
tell she felt comfortable with me when she used my tie to wipe mustard off her mouth.
Dating is
when you pretend you're someone you're not, to impress somebody you don't even know.
What men
don't realize is how many women date just so they won't have to cook dinner.
I'd
rather try on swimsuits in a well-lighted dressing room than to go on a blind date.
I only date
so my friends won't feel sorry for me and try to fix me up with somebody.
I don't do
well on dates. I always imagine what my date would look like naked--and then either panic
or drool.
