My killer poodle is 15 years old, but she's still a great watch dog -- as long as I remember to turn up her hearing aid.

     I told the vet my pit bull was sick. He said feed him two cats and call him in the morning.

     We don't have a dog -- but we have a child that bites.

     Scientists claim that dogs will eat anything that's put in front of them. Gee, just like baseball fans.

     My dog is really smart. Every time I do something cute he gives me a treat.

     My dog won't even speak to me. He's still miffed because I buckled horns on him at Christmas so he'd look like a reindeer.