Gasoline Conservation for Dummies

Gasoline Conservation for Dummies

Here's how to save big bucks on gasoline:

Plan your trips carefully. You can save 50% on gasoline by going only to those places that are down hill -- and staying there.

Carpooling is a great gasoline saver. Simply drive your car into a pool and leave it there.

Gas prices headed up

You can save two cents a gallon by buying new steel-belted radial tires. Assuming, of course, you have a car.
- Even if you don't have a car, recent studies show that buying radial tires does not waste gasoline.

Cut gasoline consumption five percent by avoiding stops and starts. So ignore all traffic signals and tell the policeman to buzz off or you'll tell President Bush.

Always keep tires properly inflated. Low tire pressure means poor gas mileage, and the three or four service stations in each state that still sell air are expected to increase prices soon because the air industry needs more money to search for more air.

If you buy a new car that gets 10 miles per gallon more than your present car, you will save 14 cents per gallon on gas. If your new car costs $18,000, gets 30 miles to the gallon, and if you drive 20,000 miles a year, the car will pay for itself in only 87 years.

Never carry unnecessary weight in your car. In other words, if you have children, have small ones.

A well-tuned engine burns less gasoline. In fact, if you get a major tune-up once or twice a week, your car will burn hardly any gas at all because it'll always be in the shop.

Try to eliminate those short trips. For example, when you call Orkin for a free termite inspection, ask them to bring a half-gallon of milk and a dozen eggs.

You can brew ethanol in your own bath rub. And don't let that unsightly ring around the tub worry you -- it can be removed easily and quickly by simply striking a match.

Consider purchasing a scooter. Scooters use hardly any gasoline at all, particularly in bad weather when most people leave them in the garage.

Do not drive your car at all for one week. Take the money you saved and buy one share of stock in each oil company. Within six months, you'll be too rich to worry about it.

Recent studies show motorists can save real money by filling up at a self-service gas station after the station is closed.

Selective shopping can save you money. Since gasoline is less expensive in the Southwest, you can save as much as ten cents a gallon by driving to Oklahoma to fill up.

Convert your car's engine to nuclear power by ordering a kit from Iran. This will not only save gasoline but also cut down on the number of trucks that pass you on the freeway.

And the best way to save money on gasoline: Drive you car only on even-numbered days when your favorite oil company is losing money.