Now, in the fervent belief that thinking
nonsense is better than never thinking
at all, The (Jock) Show proudly presents another useless tip on
"How to Keep Cool This Summer:"
> If you want to keep cool this summer, take the
ice-maker out of your refrigerator and install it in your
shorts.
> If you
want to keep cool this summer, THINK cool. Tune your color TV to
blue, so that (Local TV weatherman) looks like he's got
frostbite.
> If you
want to keep cool this summer, convince yourself that summer
heat is all in your mind -- and go soak your head.
> If you
want to keep cool this summer, weatherstrip your doors, keep
your drapes closed in the daytime -- and move to Norway.
> If you
want to keep cool this summer, pretend you're a cowboy and fill
your 10-gallon hat with eight gallons of ice water. This will
also come in handy if your horse's radiator boils over.
