Since this is the time of year when lots of people are moving, we're proud to present another
warning in our award-losing
series, "What to Expect When You Don't Know What to Expect When Moving." Prepared, of course, by our staff movologist, Vanessa Van Lines. Now
Vanessa's moving warnings:
► The very first thing you learn when moving is that the term "fragile" is the moving company code-word for "slam dunk!"
► No matter how much junk the moving company knows you have to pack, they always charge you extra to drive back to their warehouse for more packing boxes. And their warehouse is in Poughkeepsie.
► No matter how well you plan things, the movers always arrive at sunset on the day
after the electric company shuts off your lights. They expect you to move by braille.
► There is only one practical modern way to make moving easy. It is called
a bonfire.
► The day you try to move, a stray cat will sneak into your house and have kittens in your dresser drawer.
► No matter how hard you try to prevent it, the movers will lose your favorite chair. But they will carefully pack and deliver the half-bowl of guacamole you meant to throw out three months ago.
► After you move, none of your friends will be able to locate your new place. But the Seventh-Day Adventists will be on your porch bright and early the next morning.
► After you move, the Post Office will promptly forward all your bills. But you won't see your favorite magazine until next year.
