So many
cities, even some states are outlawing smoking,
it's getting to be a serious problem for Congress.
Which seems determined not to allow the tobacco
industry to go up in smoke.
I can
see it now....
Congress
passes legislation forcing all smokers to live on
special federally designated "Nicotine
Reservations."
Except
for Native Americans. They will need three
reservations: one for smokers, one for non-smokers,
and one for sending smoke signals.
On the
reservation, smokers will be forced to live in
poverty, with only enough money to buy cigarettes
through the federal AFDC program. That's Aid to
Families with Dependent Coughers.
The AFDC will be administered by the corrupt Bureau
of Tobacco Affairs.
In
desperation, the poor pathetic smoker will resort to
selling trinkets outside resorts. Which nobody will
buy because nobody wants a trinket covered with
nicotine stains that would gag a buzzard.
In
the end, all smokers will shave their heads and
check into rehab.
