It's
important for you guys to on your best behavior at
the prom because there are two things your date will
always remember about prom night -- your manners and
your pimples.
The guys in my high school class had so many pimples
our prom looked like a Clearasil convention.
My daughter is
very considerate. She knew her boyfriend would have
problems pinning on her corsage, so she had her
shoulder pierced.
I'll never forget my
senior prom. My girlfriend told me she wanted
something beautiful to wear on her gown. So I pinned
on a picture of Annette Funicello.
When I went to my
senior prom I wore a tuxedo. I looked like a penguin
with pimples.
Here's
a prom tip for you girls. If your boyfriend's eyes
are bulging out of their sockets when he sees you in
your formal, it means your gown is too tight -- or
his necktie is.
You can always tell
when it's prom night. It's the only night of the
year guys go to McDonalds in tuxedos.
At many proms the
last dance will be a waltz. Which is good. It
prepares graduates to waltz into the unemployment
office.
Remember, seniors,
how you behave on prom night is very important. It's
the last chance you'll have to give your school a
bad reputation.
Proms have
really changed. Today all you see is wild colored
hair, gobs of makeup, skin-tight clothes -- and the
girls are even worse!
I had so many
pimples on prom night it took me three hours to
cover them all with Clearasil. Unfortunately, the
first time I smiled, my face cracked.
I'll never
forget my senior prom. Dancing the night away,
looking so spiffy in our first formal clothes. And
then dinner afterwards. We were the best looking
couple at (the Dairy Queen).
When I was a
senior, my date and I were chauffeured to the prom
in this long, sleek, shiny, magnificent machine. It
was so cool. And we only had to transfer once.
I'll never forget my
date's prom dress. It was the exact same color as
the zit on my chin.
I'll never
forget the dress my date wore to the prom: white,
when we arrived; pink and white when we left --
after I spilled punch on it.
Some guys take their
dates to the prom in a limo. I took mine in a lemon.
You know times have changed when the prom queen
is some guy in drag.
Times do change. I can remember when getting
lucky on prom night meant you won the raffle.
I didn’t dance at the prom. I was too busy trying
to breathe in my dress.
I’ll never forget my
prom: my date, the flowers, the music, the dance,
the dinner, the speeding ticket, the assault charge,
getting sick in the police car......
My prom cost my dad
so much money, he went to it himself.
My date said they had a ball.
On prom night, just
remember the words of noted prom attorney Johnny
Cochran: "If you get drunk, you must flunk."
Remember, seniors,
how you behave on prom night is very important. It’s
the last chance you’ll have to give your school a
bad reputation.
When I was in high
school, people said my prom date and I looked like a
fairy tale come true: Beauty and the Beast.
Here's good
news for you guys on a limited budget who want to
impress your date on prom night: you can now rent a
low-cost limousine -- a stretch
Kia.
I remember my
first high school dance. When I stepped onto the
dance floor, everybody laughed. But when I started
dancing, they laughed even louder. Of course, I
didn't have a date.....
It's prom night.
Tonight most guys climax four years of fantasies
with one night of rejection.
Here's a tip for
prom night. Club soda is great for getting those
barf stains out of your tux.
Prom night was one
of the worst nights of my life. My girlfriend looked
fantastic. The problem was, so did her date.
I read where at some
schools you have to take a breath test to get into
the prom. I suppose it's okay -- if they don't
insist on smelling your underarms, too.
I'll never forget my
prom night. I spent the whole night in the back
seat. Well, at least 'till we got to the police
station.
All those young kids
in limos look like a Mafia pizza delivery service.
The senior prom is
like a rite of passage. You realize this is the last
time dad is going to pay for anything.
My daughter said her
prom was like a Cinderella Ball. At midnight her
date's limo turned into a '76 Duster.
I'll never forget my
date for the prom. Her name was Brunie. She was the
shot putter on the girl's track team. On the dance
floor, guess who led?
