Hey, we're consenting adults, let's talk
about ... prunes.
Prune producers try to glamorize prunes in their ads. It's like
trying to get Playboy to make Grandma Moses a centerfold.
Prunes get no respect. Paris designers sell plum-colored evening
gowns, but they wouldn't dare put out a prune-colored party dress.
The ads point out that prunes are "bite-size." Big
deal. So are buttons, beetles, and bottle caps, but I don't eat them with my cornflakes.
The big thing about prunes is the way they look. If prunes
could move, you'd whack 'em with your shoe.
Prunes are so ugly,
some prune companies won't even put their picture on the package.
A wise old philosopher put it this way: "You can prune a
tree, but it's real hard to tree a prune."
Well, maybe he wasn't so wise, but he was very old.
Now, here's an in-depth report on prunes. Prunes are about an
inch in depth.
One bad thing about prunes is that they last a long time. I have
a box of prunes that's been in my family for generations. We've tried to throw them out,
but the garbage man throws them right back in.
