The Yellow Pages.

     No matter what you look up in the Yellow Pages, it will NOT be listed under the category you try first.

Doing it yourself.

     Doing it yourself always takes longer and costs more than you thought.

Lines.

     Any line you choose to stand in will always move the slower than all the other lines.

Plumbers.

     The only plumber on earth who knows what he's doing is the one explaining the current problem. All other plumbers were either stupid or on dope.

Appliances, electronic gadgets, and cars.

     No matter which model you buy, it's the only one they ever had trouble with.

Women.

     Women are smarter and prettier than men, but only when they don't realize it.

Trouble.

     It is easier to get into trouble than out of it.

Saving things.

     You will never need anything you've ever saved until you throw it away.

Bathroom hooks.

    Every bathroom hook in the world has something already hanging on it.

Freeways.

     Every freeway has sufficient capacity to meet future needs until the day it opens.

Prunes.

     All the prunes you can eat is too many.