Television news is way behind the times. Heck, most TV newscasters don't even talk dirty.

     You don't have to be stupid to watch TV comedies, but it does help you understand what's happening.

      A growing number of people believe that television leads to violence. Others believe that TV actually reduces violence by making viewers so fat and lazy they don't have the energy to get up and cause trouble.

      I don't understand why TV advertising is aimed at young people. It's the old people who don't have the energy to leave the room during the commercials.

      First, God created man. Then, God created woman. Then, God created morals. Then, man created television, and the whole arrangement sort of went down the drain.

     Most soap operas could be called "I Love Loosely."

     I'm getting tired of cable. Day after day it's the same 97 channels.