New fall TV shows that didn't make it onto the networks, yet they might get a spot on .. "The Spinoff Channel."
     With bad TV apparently "In" these days, of course any one of these losers could be a giant hit:

     "America's Goriest Police Brutality Videos" -- hosted by Paris Hilton. Paris will start each show by slapping a Judge Wapner doll.

    "Live With Hulk & Cathy Lee" -- Hulk Hogan and Cathy Lee Crosby talk and grease each other.

    "Joy of Fainting" -- Elderly movie fans try to view the latest R-rated movies.

    "Trials of Hershall Walker" -- A retired pro football player wanders from city to city auditioning for local ballets.

    "The Price Is Wrong" -- Tanya Tucker stars as a pregnant private investigator who tries to catch supermarket checkout clerks making mistakes.

    "David Duke's Louisiana Cookin" -- Each week David tells the latest Queen Latifah joke and cooks up favorite recipes of Ku Klux Klan grand dragons and their parole officers.

    "Dear Juan" -- To deal with his mid-to-late-life crisis, Erik Estrada joins a support group for divorced bull fighters.

     "Orson's Angels" -- Three beautiful private eyes from the planet Ork are stranded in Topeka when their space egg runs out of yoke.

     "The Young & the Restless Riders" -- a western soap opera set in the post office at Green River, Wyoming.

    "You Bet Your Beeper" -- a medical game show where contestants can win a liposuction or quadruple bypass by the surgeon of their choice.

    "15 Minutes" -- a new streamlined version of "60 Minutes," with all the unnecessary stuff edited out. In fact, the only one left is Andy Rooney.

    "Cooler Fooler Bueller" -- an adolescent sit-com about Ferris Bueller's cousin, Cooler Fooler, who is even cooler than Ferris at fooling parents and teachers.

     "Married...With Goats" -- a sophisticated sit-com about a family in the Tennessee hills.

     "American Creamer" -- a sports drama about a heavyweight boxer who creams everybody and strangles their dog.

     "America's Most Embarrassing Home Videos" -- a wacky show-and-tell presentation using videos submitted by peeping toms.

     "Twin Freaks" -- a punk sit-com about twin brothers who operate competing hair styling saloons. No, not salon .. saloon.

     "Uncle Muck" -- a family sit-com about a funny uncle who never takes a bath.

     "The Slime Years" -- a true-to-life drama about a young rap group that will do anything for a hit record.

     "L.A. Pipes" -- love and politics in a large yuppie plumbing company.

     "In the Meat of the Night" -- an action comedy about the bizarre things that happen at an all-night butcher shop.

      "upperfiftysomething more or less" -- members of the old "thirtysomething" cast compete for free hearing aids.

    "Unsolved Hysterectomies" -- a medical awareness series, with dramas ripped from today's gynecology clinics.

     "Murder, She Sang" -- The dramatic story of an over-the-hill torch singer whose voice really knocks them dead.

    "The Long & the Short of It" -- A hilarious new sex comedy for the entire family starring Dr. Ruth and Dr. Phil.

    "Meet the Dress" -- Three leading television news reporters interview Vanna White's wardrobe.

    "Covert Love Connection" -- Alberto Gonzalez hosts as the secret audience chooses secret dates for secret marines. All you get to see is Al's grin and the U.S. flag, but it's worth it.