Outdoor weddings are nice in June—if you don’t mind
saying, "I do," with a dog sniffing your leg. First
comes love, then comes marriage; then comes extreme nausea, heartburn, swollen feet,
50-pound weight-gain; and a baby carriage.
You can always spot the father of the bride—he’s the
one signing over his retirement fund to the caterer.
June is the traditional month for weddings. The other 11
months are for divorce.
Advice to newlyweds: If you want your marriage to work, be
understanding.
If your groom yawns through the entire wedding, don't ask where
he was the night before -- be understanding.
As you're walking back up the aisle, if your bride says, "Be
careful of the wedding dress, I may want to wear it again," -- be understanding.
My daughter is getting married, and she's worth all the
money in the world -- and that's what the wedding is costing me.
