He was in the first
third grade class I taught at Saint Mary's School in
Morris,
Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark
Eklund was one in a million.
Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive
attitude that made even his occasional mischievousness
delightful.
Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and
again that talking without
permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so
much, though, was his sincere
response every time I had to correct him for
misbehaving: "Thank you for correctingme, Sister!" I didn't know what to make of it at
first, but before longI
became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.
One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark
talked once too often, and thenI made a novice-teacher's mistake. I looked at
him and said, "If you say
one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!"
It wasn't ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out,
"Mark is talking again."
I hadn't asked any of the students to help me watch
Mark, but since I had stated
the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on
it.
I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning.
I walked to my desk, verydeliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll
of masking tape. Without sayinga word, I proceeded to Mark's desk, tore off two
pieces of tape and made a big
X with them over his mouth.
I then returned to the front of the room. As I glanced
at Mark to see how he was
doing he winked at me.
That did it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I
walked back to Mark's
desk, removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders. His
first words were, "Thankyou
for correcting me, Sister."
At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high
math. The years flew by,
and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He
was more handsome than ever
and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to
my instructions in the "new
math," he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had
in the third.
One Friday, things just didn't feel right. We had worked
hard on a new concept
all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning,
frustrated with themselves--andedgy with one another. I had to stop this
crankiness before it got out of hand. So I asked them to
list the names of the other students in the room on two
sheetsof paper, leaving a
space between each name. Then I told them to think of
the nicestthing they could
say about each of their classmates and write it down.
It took the remainder of the class period to finish the
assignment, and as the studentsleft the room, each one handed me the papers.
Charlie smiled. Mark said, "Thankyou for teaching me, Sister. Have a good
weekend."
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on
a separate sheet of paper,and
I listed what everyone else had said about that
individual. On Monday I gave
each student his or her list. Before long, the entire
class was smiling. "Really?"I
heard whispered. "I never knew that meant anything to
anyone!" "Ididn't know others
liked me so much!"
No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I
never knew if they discussed
them after class or with their parents, but it didn't
matter. The exercise had
accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with
themselves and one another
again.
That group of students moved on. Several years later,
after I returned from vacation,my parents met me at the airport. As we were
driving home, Mother asked me the usualquestions about the trip--the weather, my
experiences in general. There was a lightlull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a
sideways glance and I simply said, "Dad?"My father cleared his throat as he usually did
before something important. "TheEklunds called last night," he began.
"Really?" I said. "I haven't heard from them in years. I
wonder
how Mark is."
Dad responded quietly. "Mark was killed in Vietnam," he
said. "The
funeral is tomorrow, and his parents would like it if
you could attend." To
this day I can still point to the exact spot on I-494
where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin
before. Mark looked so handsome,so mature. All I could think at that moment was,
Mark, I would give all the maskingtape in the world if only you would talk to me.
The church was packed with Mark's friends. Chuck's
sister sang "The
Battle Hymn of the Republic." Why did it have to rain on
the day of the funeral?
It was difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor
said the usual prayers, and
the bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark
took a last walk by the coffin and sprinkled it with
holy water.
I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood
there, one of the soldiers who
had acted as pallbearer came up to me. "Were you Mark's
math teacher?"
he asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the
coffin. "Mark talked about
you a lot," he said.
After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates
headed to Chuck's farmhouse
for lunch. Mark's mother and father were there,
obviously waiting for me. "We
want to show you something," his father said, taking a
wallet out of his pocket.
"They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought
you might recognizeit."
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn
pieces of notebook paper that
had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many
times. I knew without looking
that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all
the good things each of Mark's
classmates had said about him. "Thank you so much for
doing that"Mark's mother
said. "As you can see, Mark treasured it."
Mark's classmates started to gather around us. Charlie
smiled rather sheepishly
and said, "I still have my list. It's in the top drawer
of my desk at home."
Chuck's wife said, "Chuck asked me to put this in our
wedding album."
"I have mine too," Marilyn said. "It's in my diary."
Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her
pocketbook, took out her wallet,and showed her worn and frazzled list to the
group. "I carry this with me at
all times," Vicki said without batting an eyelash. "I
think we all saved
our lists."
That's when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for
Mark and for all his friends
who would never see him again.
Philippians 1:3: "Every time I think of you, I give
thanks to my God."