Compassionate Advice:
'TWEEN 12 AND 20

By Dr. Robert Wallace
   Creators Syndicate

10-08-01

Wallace
DR. ROBERT WALLACE

Much more 'Tween 12 & 20

Ten Tips to Help Resist Drugs

DR. WALLACE: The horror caused by terrorists has shaken me to the core of my being. I will never get over their evil acts on innocent humans. But my life and responsibility as a parent must continue.

I'm a single mom supporting a 13-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. When I was a teen, I was involved in drugs, and they almost destroyed my life. So far, I'm sure both of my children are drug-free and I want to keep it that way.

Just to make sure, any help you can give will be deeply appreciated. — Mother, San Francisco.

MOTHER: An organization called PRIDE — Parent Resource Institute for Drug Education — offers some excellent suggestions that I know will help you:

10 Suggestions to Help Children Resist Drugs:

— Always remember that you, the parent, are your child's most influential role model.

— Set expectations for your child and follow through. Be clear that you want no drug or alcohol use. Tell the child what you'll do if he or she does not meet the expectation. Then, if necessary, DO IT.

— Keep reminding your child about the expectations. Reinforcement will cause the child to realize that you're serious.

— Take advantage of teachable moments. Discuss newspaper articles involving people in trouble because of illegal drugs or alcohol.

— Know what's going on in your child's life — at home, at school and with friends. Most experts feel the No. 1 cause of drug abuse is peer pressure.

— Know the parents of your child's friends. Parents must communicate with other parents, letting them know their standards.

— Encourage participation in worthwhile activities, such as YMCA programs, scouting and extracurricular events at school, especially athletics. Boredom is one reason kids get involved with drugs.

— Be supportive of community anti-drug programs. Doing so shows your child that you take an interest in drug awareness.

— Be informed so you know what you're talking about when you discuss drug abuse with your child. Nothing turns off a child faster than inaccurate or outdated information.

— Know and recognize the signs of drug or alcohol abuse and act swiftly if you suspect your child of involvement.

 

I WAS UPSET ABOUT LEAVING FRIENDS

DR. WALLACE: I'm responding to the letter from Barbara, who was upset because her family moved to the state of Washington from Florida. When I was 15, my family moved from New Jersey to California. I, too, was very upset about leaving my friends, my boyfriend and the house I grew up in. For six months, my older sister and I put our parents through a rough time. We wanted to return to New Jersey. We called our New Jersey friends so many times that our parents had to put a lock on the telephone.

Eventually, we made new friends in California and now I consider California home. I still keep in touch with my friends in New Jersey and I've even gone back for a visit, but I would not consider returning to the East Coast to live. It takes time to adjust to something so huge as a move to another community, but most times the change is for the better. — Melody, Marysville, Calif.

MELODY: Thanks for the encouraging words. Nobody can offer hope to an unhappy teen better than someone who has gone through the same thing herself.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read more features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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