2008-11-11
Parents Can Serve as Important Influences to Teens

DR. WALLACE: I always hear that teens feel pressured to have sex. Who, pray tell, is putting on all this pressure? I'm a mother of two teenagers — a 16-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old son — and we have open and honest communication. They can talk to me about anything on earth, including things of a sexual nature. I asked them if they are being pressured into having sex and both said, "Absolutely not." — Mother, Pendleton, Ore.

MOTHER: You are a very wise parent. Open and honest communication between parent and child is extremely important. No one can give better advice to a child than a parent.

Unfortunately, not all parents follow your good example. According to a survey by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, teens exert a strong influence over one another. Girls feel that pressure is most likely to come from their boyfriends. For the boys, the pressure comes from their buddies. It's a macho thing.

Still, when asked who was most influential regarding sexual decision-making, teens were more likely to say parents (38 percent) than friends (32 percent). The peer pressure differs for boys and girls. When teens were asked what sources they have felt pressure from to have sex, 37 percent of the girls said they felt it from guys, followed by 26 percent from their girlfriends. With boys, 45 percent said they received pressure to have sex from their buddies and 19 percent from the girls they were dating. The study surveyed 1,002 teens in February.

TEEN NEEDS TO TRY TO CONTACT LOST DOG'S OWNERS

DR. WALLACE: About two weeks ago, my brother and I found a dog on our way home from church. She was lost, so we took her home. She was such a friendly dog that our parents allowed us to keep her.

I really love Daisy, but now I feel bad. Daisy had a dog tag and collar on, but we took it off so our parents wouldn't know. Now I realize that some family might be looking for their dog. If they love her as much as I do, they will be really sad.

I still have the collar and dog; I feel I need to find the real owner. What should I do? I'd like to do the right thing, but my brother thinks we should keep the dog because she has a good home and, after all, the other family let her get lost. — Jerry, Brookhaven, Miss.

JERRY: First of all, keeping Daisy was wrong. Be honest and tell your parents that when you found Daisy she had on a collar and a dog tag, which you and your brother removed. Let them know you still have the tag. Then either you or a parent should inform the animal shelter that you have a lost dog. Give the shelter the tag number; they will contact Daisy's real owners.

If the owners can't be contacted because they have moved away, then Daisy could be your dog. But don't get your hopes up. Odds are the owners can be contacted and will be thrilled at the good news. In many homes, a pet is considered part of the family.

If Daisy is returned to her rightful owners, there are many beautiful and friendly dogs and cats at the animal shelter that need a good home — they would love to have you as their master. Stop by and pick one out. Everybody in the family wins, including the pet.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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