Better Late Than Never

DR. WALLACE: Susan was my best friend until a recent incident caused us to end our friendship. Last week, my "friend" brought a bottle of tequila to school, and she and another girl drank some during lunch. After lunch, she asked me to hide the booze in my locker, just in case a teacher smelled alcohol on her breath and decided to search her locker.

Well, a teacher did smell alcohol on my friend's breath and also on the breath of the other girl. When they searched the girls' lockers and didn't find the alcohol, the vice principal said the girls would be suspended only three days instead of five if they told where they got the tequila. You guessed it; they blamed me! Of course, when my locker was searched, the alcohol was found and I was in a heap of trouble.

For helping a friend, I was suspended for five days and my parents put me on restriction for three months, even though they knew that the alcohol wasn't mine. My restriction, they said, was for my stupidity.

The reason for writing is to warn other teens not to get involved when a friend does something stupid and to choose your friends wisely. I've had to learn the hard way! — Nameless, San Jose, Calif.

NAMELESS: The key is that you learned! Better late than never. Thanks for sharing with your fellow teens.

WHEN VISITING GRANDPARENTS STAY CLOSE TO MOM

DR. WALLACE: I have a very unusual and very delicate problem. My mother's father (my grandfather) is a dirty-minded buzzard. I hate going to visit my grandparents. When we are alone, he tells me dirty jokes and then asks me to tell him about my sex life. (I don't have a sex life.) I keep telling him to knock it off, but he won't listen. My grandmother is in a wheelchair, so our family visits Mom's parents more than we usually would. I love seeing Granny, but despise seeing her despicable husband.

I'm 16 and quite able to handle most of my problems by myself, but this one has me baffled. I can't discuss it with my family because I don't want my mother to learn that her father has sexually harassed me, and besides, my dad would blow his mind. He doesn't like Mom's father.

So, you see that I could cause a family war if I discussed my problem with them. Any advice will be appreciated. — Nameless, Houston.

NAMELESS: There is only one solution to your problem — never be alone with your grandfather. He has lost his self-governing capacity in your presence and is not to be trusted. When you visit your grandparents, stay close to your mother. Grandpa wouldn't dare open his dirty mouth in front of his daughter.

I understand why you want to keep this to yourself and spare everyone else the shock and embarrassment of knowing the truth about your grandfather. Maybe this can be done — but don't let this "dirty" secret become such a burden that it gives you emotional stress or, worse, puts you at risk. If that happens, you must tell Mom the truth immediately and let the chips fall where they may.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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