Allow Your New Mom the Opportunity

DR. WALLACE: We are 16-year-old twins and live with our dad. Our parents divorced, and our dad remarried. Now we have a new mother after not having one for four years.

My dad never disciplined us, so we always got to do whatever we wanted. If my twin sister and I wanted to spend the night at our boyfriend's house, we did. Sometimes we even had our boyfriends spend the night at our house when my dad was on a business trip. We both pretty much just got to come and go as we pleased.

Things are now changing since our dad has remarried. We have to help around the house and our stepmother tells us what to do. Our dad never made sure that we studied, and he didn't seem to care if we did or not. I'm sorry to say that we barely got passing grades. Now our stepmother makes us study, and she offers to help us improve our grades. We don't like this one bit and wish she would just leave us alone.

My sister and I have decided that we really would like to go and live with our real mother. She has also remarried and she would probably let us. The only reason we haven't told our dad about this is that we love him and don't want to hurt him. What do you think we should do? - Twins, San Francisco, Calif.

TWINS: The best thing that happened to both of you in many a year is getting a new mother. You're both well aware that your dad was doing a very poor job of raising two teenage girls. He was extremely lax with discipline. You two have had your way much too long. Now, get with it, and make something out of your lives because you both are headed down the wrong path!

It's a shame your father hadn't married your new mother several years ago. But my dear twins, the marriage was better late than never. I think your new mom, if given a chance, can really help and guide you both. Allow her the opportunity.

WHAT IS A THROWAWAY TEEN?

DR. WALLACE: Some teens run away from home and of course, they are called "runaways." I've also heard the term "throwaways" connected with young teens leaving home.

What exactly is a throwaway? It sounds terrible! - Nameless, Ames, Iowa

NAMELESS: It is terrible. A so-called "throwaway" is either a teen under the age of 18 leaving intolerable home conditions and who is not reported missing by his parents or guardians, or a young teen who is literally "thrown" out of the house to fend for himself or herself.

About 1 young teen in 3 who leave home could be considered a "throwaway." That's a very sad and sobering statistic. Parents are legally responsible for their children until they reach the age of 18. The vast majority of parents assume this responsibility. Those parents, who do not and choose to "throwaway" their child, have broken the law and can be prosecuted.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.