Read These Emails, and Then Decide for Yourself

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and so is my girlfriend. We both will graduate in June and then we will get married. We have been dating for over 3 years, and we both know that we are meant for each other. I love my girlfriend as much as any guy can love a girl and she feels the same way about me. We are both virgins but intend to start a sexual relationship in the very, very near future. She will be on the "pill." I know that it would still be possible for her to get pregnant, but we like the odds that she won't.

I've read your column for quite some time, and I know that you frown on pre-marital sex for teens and preach that pre-marital sex is a good way to end a happy relationship. Is this a fact or just something you dreamed up to stop teen sex? - Joe, New York, N.Y.

JOE: The following two emails came in recently and should help you to make a good decision. Read them and then decide for yourself.

DR. WALLACE: Randy and I had been dating steadily and we were a very happy couple. We both enjoyed athletics, music and going to see science-fiction movies. All of our friends thought we were the "ideal" couple. We talked about sex (I was a virgin) but decided to wait because we were not emotionally ready for such a commitment.

Then one night Randy said that all of his friends were having sex with their girlfriends and it seemed to bring the couples a lot of happiness. He convinced me and we started having sex. A month later we were having sex every time we were together. We stopped going to movies, going to athletic events and discussing our future. All we did was have sex, mostly in his van.

About a month later, we broke up. I was bored, and he wanted to date other girls. As I write this email, I feel used and abused. The scars of this "love fling" are long and deep. I am totally convinced that it was sex that tore us apart. I'm writing this email in hopes that other girls who are thinking of having sex to cement a relationship will reconsider. It doesn't always work out. - Jan, New Orleans, La.

DR. WALLACE: I know that you might find this unusual because it's from a guy, but I feel I had to contact you and hope that you will print my email so that some teens won't make the same mistake my girlfriend and I did. Hannah and I had been dating for several months and we had some really fun times. Then one evening she told me that we ought to have sex to prove our love to one another.

Deep down I didn't want to, but I didn't want to look like a "wimp" so I agreed. We had sex several more times, but three weeks later, we broke up. Things were not the same. I had lost all respect for Hannah and worse, I had lost all respect for myself. Having sex with Hannah was a huge mistake. It caused us to break up forever. - Mitch, Miami, Fla.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.