Saturday, June 21

Chances are good your guy will call back

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 16-year-old girl and Carly is my very best friend. She and I made plans to see a certain movie together on a Friday night. During the week, a guy called and invited me out for the same Friday. I was happy he called because I do want to go out with him, but I told him I already had plans for Friday, but I would be happy to go out with him at another time. He said he'd call me again.

My sister said I made a huge mistake. I should have said yes to the date offer and then explained the situation to my friend. She said Carly would have understood. What's your opinion? - Sidney, Orlando, Fla.

SIDNEY: You did the right thing. Chances are very high that you will receive another date offer from this guy. He wants to go out with you and you told him you would be happy to go out with him. Ninety-nine to one, he'll call again!

MOVIE WITH A GUY FRIEND IS OK

DR. WALLACE: I'm a responsible 14-year-old girl. I have many friends, both male and female. One of my guy friends asked me to go to a movie with him. My mom said no. This boy is only a friend and would never do anything he shouldn't. Do you think I should be permitted to go to the movie with a guy friend? My mom knows I'm writing to you and we are both waiting for your answer. - Ashley, Vicksburg, Miss.

ASHLEY: I think you should be allowed to see a movie with a guy friend as long as a parent takes you to and from the movie theater and the movie is acceptable to your mother.

DON'T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT DREAMS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and have been dating Richard for over two years. He is a great guy and I love him very, very much. I would be a lost soul without him. We have talked about marriage and I'm positive that after college we will be husband and wife.

My problem is that for the past five months, I have been having dreams about meeting another guy and falling in love with him. In my dreams I actually do love him and I enjoy this dream sequence a lot. I try to forget these dreams, but I can't. Actually, I feel guilty about loving a guy in my dreams.

I've searched my subconscious mind and there is no hidden love lurking around. I love Richard so much that I have no desire whatsoever to think about romance with another guy. Why am I dreaming such odd dreams? - Nameless, Greenville, Miss.

NAMELESS: I'm not a dream expert and can't tell you what your dream "means," if anything, but one thing is perfectly clear: This is no reason for feeling guilty! You've done nothing wrong. The only infidelities that count are the ones that take place in the real world.

The brain is a complex organ with many mysteries still to be plumbed. The dreams it produces may have many purposes, but one of them certainly is to keep us in psychological balance. Somehow you are exploring the ideal of love in your unguarded state of sleep. All this can do is to make you more loving toward Richard.

You're far more likely to get into trouble if you repress your feelings than if you relax about them. Since your dreams are enjoyable, my advice is to enjoy them. You could be having nightmares.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Write to him at Copley News Service, P.O. Box 120190, San Diego, CA 92112 or e-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net.

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