Confront school about racy photos

DR. WALLACE: Our daughter is concerned about nude pictures her son is receiving on his cell phone from his 8th grade female classmates. The girls take their own (and group) pictures and e-mail them to selected boys in their class. The boys got in trouble when caught texting in class - against school regulations. However, when the school principal confiscated the cell phones she also found the girls' pictures. Some pictures were of the girls group flashing - taken in the school's girls' restroom mirrors.

Our daughter is concerned about how or who should handle the problem. She is reluctant to personally confront the girls or their parents and would prefer the school administration do it. She had previously talked to one of the girls when she found similar pictures on their home computer. It evidently did not do any good. Her latest action has been to take away her son's cell phone and closely monitor his home computer.

What do you think her best course of action is - expect the school to act or contact the girl's parents directly? - Grandmother, Miami.

GRANDMOTHER: Since the stupid and indecent act took place on school grounds, allow the school administration to severely discipline the girls involved and then work with the parents to make sure that this unacceptable behavior comes to an immediate halt.

Exhaust all available school sources (your school principal, district superintendent, district school board) before dealing directly with the parents of the girls. A competent school principal will handle this incident to your daughter's satisfaction.

TIME HAS COME TO GET IN YOUR WALLOPS

DR. WALLACE: I'm 12 and live alone with my mother. My father died several years ago. A boy who lives near me is always picking on me. He calls me names, hits me and has stolen things from me. My mother has told me that the time has come for me to stand up for myself and to defend myself if this bully bothers me again. I want to do that because even if he whips me, I'll get in a few good wallops.

My grandmother (dad's mom) says that fighting never solves anything and that I should pray for this boy. What do you think I should do? - Nameless, Toledo, Ohio.

NAMELESS: I think the time has come to defend yourself. If this bully picks on you again, get in a few good wallops in retaliation and give him one for me - then pray for him.

I'm well aware that many parents will disagree with my "stand up for yourself" advice, but I'd say they had never been bullied as a young person. Those who had been bullied contact me and almost all say they were sorry they didn't "fight back".

Bullies have made life miserable for those who are harassed, punched, kicked and threatened. The great majority of bullies are cowards and bullying those who are smaller or weaker gives them a false sense of power. The bully hopes the victims continue to "turn the other cheek" because they will continue their power play.

© Copley News Service