Time for teen to start spending ... frugally

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and baby-sit for my neighbor. I make about $40 a week. I've been baby-sitting for about seven months and have earned more than $1,000. All of it is in a bank savings account because my parents refuse to allow me to spend one penny of my earnings. They keep telling me they're teaching me to save for a rainy day.

I don't think this is fair, do you? I think I should be allowed to spend some of my earnings when the days are sunny and bright. My parents encouraged me to write for your opinion. - Jessica, Goshen, Ind.

JESSICA: I'm definitely in favor of teens learning the value of money and getting into the saving habit, not just for rainy days but for long-term goals such as going to college or the South of France, buying a car, etc.

However, saving every last penny seems unreasonable. You should, I agree, be able to spend some of your earnings now, on days that are sunny and bright. Banking 50 percent of what you earn strikes me as a happy compromise. After all, part of learning the value of money is learning how to spend it wisely. This takes practice!

FRIENDSHIP COMES BEFORE ROMANCE

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and my best friend is also 16. What is unusual is that I'm a girl and my best friend is a guy. We've been best friends for over a year. We met at a party and it was "best friends at first sight." Wesley is kind and caring and a real super guy. I can share a lot of my problems with him and he can share his with me. We have a lot in common and talk to each other at least 30 minutes every evening on the telephone.

Lately, I have started to have romantic thoughts about him. I'd really like to go out with him, but I don't want to jeopardize the present relationship. I'd be extremely hurt if I asked him out and he said no. What do you think I should do? - Sonja, Frederick, Md.

SONJA: Romance can't turn into love and a long-term relationship unless the guy and the girl are good friends. You and Wesley are already there. Ask him to accompany you to a movie and a snack afterward. I'm positive the answer will be yes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained!

BOYFRIEND AND HIS LYING WAYS HAVE TO GO

DR. WALLACE: I'm 18 and engaged to be married in seven months to a guy I've been dating for over three years. He has many good qualities, but he has one major flaw - he lies. Last month we went to a party and he told a bunch of people that his dad was a criminal lawyer. He should have left off the word "lawyer," because his dad is a criminal and is serving time for armed robbery.

He has told my parents and me that he has $20,000 in the bank, a gift from his grandmother, but when we ask to see a record of the deposit, he always seems to discover that he can't find it. Finally, I got up enough courage to ask his grandmother if she indeed gave her grandson $20,000 and all she could do was laugh and say that he has a wild imagination.

I can't even count the number of times he has told lies to my friends. Last week he told my best friend that we had put $10,000 down on a new home. That is simply not true. We don't even have 10,000 dimes.

Believe it or not, I love this guy, but I'm disappointed that he lies so much. What should I do? I've talked to him, but he denies that he lies. I sometimes think he actually believes his own lies. - Sheila, Toledo, Ohio.

SHEILA: You already know what my answer is going to be. Maybe you just want to see it in writing so you can read it over and over, then do what has to be done.

Tell Scott goodbye. If he can't be honest with you in an elementary way, there's no way the two of you could build a life together.

With a father in prison, he has an obvious motivation to try to embroider a few improvements on the situation he's been handed, but his lying is over the edge. He can't control it. More troubling still is his complete refusal to acknowledge he has a problem. You'd never know where you were with a guy like this.

© Copley News Service