2008-10-25
Teen Discovers that She Might Have Had a Sister

DR. WALLACE: I am 17 and live with my parents. I am an only child. About a month ago, I was looking for something in the attic when I stumbled across an old photo album. In it, there were pictures of my parents at a younger age with a young child. On the back of some photos were the words: Janet, (Mom's name), Richard (Dad's name) and Rachel. The pictures of Rachel were taken over several years and the oldest ones seem to show her at about age 5 or 6. This has bothered me very much. I think Rachel is my sister and maybe something happened to her.

What should I do? Confront my parents on my find, or pretend I never saw the pictures? Now that I think about it, my parents have been extremely protective of me. I could never play in the snow like other kids my age, and I was rushed to the doctor at the slightest sign of a cold.

There is also the possibility of asking my grandmother (Dad's mom), because I'm sure she would know what happened to Rachel. It just blows my mind to think that I probably had a sister and that nobody told me about her. I took a picture of Rachel and my parents out of the album; I will have proof if I do confront my parents.

Your input will be appreciated very much. I love my parents and do not want to hurt them, yet I need to know about this. — Nameless, Buffalo, N.Y.

NAMELESS: Tell your parents exactly what happened — that you were in the attic looking for something when you found a photo album that had pictures of them with a girl named Rachel. Then show them the picture. Ask them if Rachel was their daughter, and if so, what happened to her. Ask all of your questions and if you are not satisfied with the answers, then feel free to talk to your grandmother about Rachel.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding her, you should know all the facts. A child's life — and perhaps death — should not be hidden from a sibling. If your parents were waiting until you were "old enough" to tell you, clearly that time is here.

TEEN HOPES GRANDFATHER WILL QUIT SMOKING

DR. WALLACE: Last month, my dad's father came to live with us because my grandmother died. We have a big house with many rooms so it's nice to have Grandfather with us.

The only problem is that he smokes. He usually goes outside to light up, but once in awhile he smokes in the house, which I don't like. I hate the stinky smell that it leaves, and I don't care to breathe secondhand smoke.

When I tell Grandfather to stop because I don't want him dying of lung cancer, he says he's too old to quit smoking. Please help. My parents allow my grandfather to do anything that he wants, even when it's wrong. — Shelly, Cumberland, Md.

SHELLY: Your grandfather is not too old to kick the smoking habit and extend his life. It's never too late to quit smoking.

According to a recent study, many older people believe that once you've smoked for 40 or 50 years, you have nothing to gain by quitting. That's absolutely untrue. Dr. John Holbrook of the University of Utah, a participant in the study, noted that no matter how old a person is or how long he or she has smoked, there are benefits to quitting. Some begin to appear almost immediately.

Please make sure your parents and grandfather read this column. If your grandfather chooses not to quit smoking, your parents must stop him from smoking in the house. Your health is more important than grandfather's addictive habit of enjoying cigarettes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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