Don’t Burn Bridges With Your Family

Dr. Robert Wallace

10-08-26

 

DR. WALLACE: I'm a 17-year-old girl and I live with a good-for-nothing older brother, my mentally weak mother and my loudmouth, verbally abusive father. The only thing good about him is that he is a good provider. He has a good job and brings his entire paycheck home to my mother.

My father constantly uses poor language and swears at me for no reason. Already he has told me that I'm no good, useless and stupid, and that he wished I was never born. He said my mother should have had an abortion when she was pregnant with me.

All I can do is wait it out until I graduate from school. I'm an above-average student, but I could get better grades — I'm a B to C (plus) student — if I had a better atmosphere. I plan to leave the area the day that I graduate in June 2011, and I never see my parents or brother again.

My boyfriend (he is really a super guy) and I plan to move to California to find some kind of employment, even if it means cooking hamburgers at a fast-food restaurant. We can live with his married brother and his wife until we get married.

Do you think that it's wrong for me to abandon my family? I honestly believe they already have abandoned me. — Nameless, Nashua, N.H.

NAMELESS: Get the best grades possible, be a model citizen, and after graduation, head for California to start a new and better life for yourself. California has a marvelous community college system, so prepare yourself to take advantage of this opportunity.

I don't think you should burn your bridges with your family. Keep in touch with them and give them your California address and phone number. Once you're gone, they may come to their senses. I hope so! Families remain intact only when its members are able to practice forgiveness. Giving up on your family will leave you with a void in your heart that might never be filled.

 

LET THE SCARS STAY

DR. WALLACE: I am a former drug addict and have been off the stuff for a year. My life has changed for the better. I have a part-time job, a neat girlfriend, and I'm attending college.

When I was on drugs, I took the needle often. Because of this, I have needle marks that have left scars on my arms and wrists. I know people see them and know I was or am an addict.

The only way I can have them removed would be to have plastic surgery, but I can't afford it. Can you offer any help? — Former Addict, Longview, Wash.

FORMER ADDICT: Why not turn a liability into an asset? Since there is nothing short of surgery to eliminate the scars, be proud of the fact that you had the desire and determination to quit the habit.

Let the scars stay on your arms, not in your mind. You are now a valuable member of society. It's only what you do in your future that's important.

 

FLY YOUR FLAG WITH PRIDE

DR. WALLACE: We want to fly a flag in front of our house, but we don't have one that has 50 stars. We do have one that has 48 stars, but our neighbor has told us not to use it. What's the rule? — Connie, Monmouth, Ill.

CONNIE: Any American flag that was ever an official flag can be flown, including one with 48 stars. Fly it with pride.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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