Sometimes the Teen is Parent to the Adult

DR. WALLACE: I'm 16 and live with my mother, who has never been married. She doesn't even know who my father is. This didn't bother me because, if she hadn't "made that mistake," I wouldn't be here. And I love my life. I'm active in school activities and a member of the National Honor Society.

I care for my mother very much because she has been a good parent, even though we struggle financially. Ever since I can remember, my mother has had various boyfriends. A few were winners; most were losers. I always told her how I felt about the guy she was dating.

The last one was a loser's loser. He had a terrible temper, drank too much and swore like a drunken sailor. He also used bad grammar and was ugly. I couldn't wait for the day she dumped him or he dumped her. That glorious day came last Saturday. My mother informed me that Eduardo had returned to Mexico. That message was wonderful, but then she added, "He split the country because I told him I was three months pregnant."

I wanted my mother away from Eduardo, but not this way. I'm writing this letter to make you aware that it's not always the teenage girl who becomes careless and unwise and winds up being an unwed mother. It can also happen to a 31-year-old woman. I'm going to wind up with a baby brother or sister in about six months. Abortion isn't an option because of our religious beliefs. -- Nameless, El Paso, Texas

NAMELESS: You are a very intelligent and wise teenager as well as Mom's mainstay. I'm sure she's immensely proud of you. Your life has not been easy, but I can tell you've made the most of it, and almost certainly will avoid your mother's mistakes. Perhaps the best that can happen is that you will wind up becoming her role model. Sometimes the teen is parent to the adult! Your mother needs your love now more than ever.

MY PARENTS WANT ME TO DOUBLE-DATE

DR. WALLACE: I'll be 15 in two weeks, which is the age my parents agreed that I could start dating. I'm really looking forward to my dating days because I already have a boyfriend. Last night my mother told me that all my dates had to be with another couple. I don't mind double-dating occasionally, but I would like to be alone on a date with my boyfriend, too. What can I do to get my parents to see things my way? My boyfriend and I are both good kids! His parents will be our chauffeurs when needed. -- Nameless, Elizabethtown, Ky.

NAMELESS: Bring your boyfriend home to visit with your parents as often as possible. The more they get to know -- and trust -- him, the sooner they will remove the double-date requirement. Rather than being annoyed by your parents' restrictions, however, why not look on the bright side? Many girls aren't permitted to date at all until they're 16 or even older.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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