DR. WALLACE: I'm 20 and divorced with a 1-year-old daughter. I have a full-time job as a secretary for an attorney and can adequately support the two of us. My mother cares for my daughter while I'm at work, but I pay her for doing so. My daughter and I have our own apartment.

My mother keeps telling me that I need to find a husband who can be a father for baby Melissa because she needs a male role model in her life. I continually respond to mom that the only role model Melissa needs is a good, honest, moral mother — that's what I am. Do you agree? — Millie, Elizabethtown, Ky.

MILLIE: Your mom means well, but pressuring you to find a husband is misguided. To marry just to give your daughter a male "role model" would almost certainly be a mistake. Most single mothers do quite well raising a child on their own. It's certainly better for the child than growing up in the cauldron of an unhappy marriage.

TEEN MUST IGNORE CRUEL AND COWARD NAME-CALLERS

DR. WALLACE: I've got an unusual weight problem; I'm very slim. I'm 14 and 5 feet, 3 inches tall with a weight of 96 pounds. I've always been slim even though I eat like a normal teen — tons of junk food. I've tried to gain weight, but I don't. People say that I have a "slim" body type and will be thin all my life. Since I am slim, I'm also a bit physically underdeveloped. I'm told that I have a "cute little figure," and I agree.

But some of the guys at my school seem to enjoy poking fun at people; I happen to be one of their targets. The name they mostly use for me is "Olive Oyl," the stick-thin girlfriend of Popeye in the cartoons. It really bugs me when they call me that. They also refer to me as "Twiggy" after the slim-thin super model of past years. That one also pesters me, but not as much as Olive Oyl.

I know I should be happy that I'm slim and can pig out on french fries and other fattening foods without gaining weight, but I am a tad self-conscious about my build.

I realize that Mother Nature has decided that I will be slim, and I can accept that — it's the name-calling that really bothers me. Maybe the name-callers at my school will read this and decide to behave themselves. I sure hope so. — Nameless, Gary, Ind.

NAMELESS: All bullies are cowards; however, name-callers fall into a special category of cowardice, since they go around sowing pain and cruelty while remaining "safe" from punishment. If challenged, they can feign surprise that they hurt anyone's feelings with their words.

The only way to make these jerks shut up is to ignore them, but doing so requires an enormous amount of self-esteem. I am pleased to learn from your letter that you have this quality in abundance.

It may help you to understand that these losers are weak and pathetic. People poke fun at others to distract themselves from their own flaws and insecurities. Your tormentors are externalizing their secret feelings about themselves.

I realize that it is difficult to ignore the comments of classmates regardless of the motive. You must realize that you are a precious human being with much to offer the world. Right now your character is being tested; passing the test will make you a great peacemaker.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at rwallace@galesburg.net. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

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